Hello to all
Funny Funday Fun-lovers! Welcome to our Lamma Funday
special issue!
Last-minute news for all Funday visitors, see feature #1 below.
The
usual mix of silly'n'serious topics, with a heavy Xmassy focus!
Following up on last
week's feature on the ad looking for "Outgoing Caucasian
Females" (see Santa photo supplied by webdog):
BBChris (Miss
Lamma.com.hk):
I RANG that advert up - he wants
"Female Santa Claus" - not bad pay but of course I'm too
much of a celebrity to do it. Have offered it to a couple of
friends. I'll let you know if they get the job!!!!!
Here's one more ad from a YSW wall this week (no comment
necessary):
I
never suspected that being a Writer & Editor can be such a
dangerous, even life-threatening job!
A most horrible,
terrible and unspeakable ghost-written death threat against
yours truly was received this week! A threat utterly horrible &
terrifying for any hot-blooded male.
I was left
uncharacteristically speechless, my face whiter than a bleached
bedsheet, whiter
than the white, ghost-written message below...
All I did was
burn k@'s Avatar as punishment for offending our lovely dragon
boat girls. Harmless enough fun, wouldn't you agree? And now
his revengeful friend is threatening my body, and some most vital
body parts! HELP!
FingerNailFixer (Great
Goat Colin worshipper, USA):
Maybe instead of women we should burn
the leader of the goat revolt, eh Lamma-Gung...
isn't Gung Goatenese for turd, someone
consult the ancient scrolls, we must know!
Avatar burning is such a serious
offense it must be attended to in it's own reply. the
punishment is so severe that one can not even read it
normally it must be ghost-written!
~All men who burn the sacred Avatar of
the goat followers shall be strapped to the horns of the
Great Goat Colin wherein the Master shall devour the
persecutor's manhood so that he may be a eunuch and follow
the Great Goat as a pooper scooper all the rest of his
days!~
If I were you I would correct the
offense at once in feeble hopes that the Great Goat Colin
not see what you have done!!
LammaNetPolice
has been informed, advising me to hide in dark corners of dark
bars, drowning my terror with malted spirits... Spirits? Ghosts?
Aieeyaaaaaaaah!
Do
you enjoy writing? How about contributing to the e-zine
occasionally? No weekly deadline pressure! Just send anything you
think might be interesting to Lamma-ites to me at any time:
silly ideas, new topics, rants, raves, anything is most welcome!
Help to improve this e-zine!
What a touching love-story of you and
Lamma-poh! and thanks for sharing it with us. I would vote
this as the most interesting issue of the e-zine so far.
Goat Maison (re: being
featured in the last e-zine):
I am famous! Hurrah for goats!
k@ (re: being featured in
the last e-zine):
yes i saw. no doubt i'll be in more
trouble
i will think of some comments later. i am going to bed now.
AutumnAuburn (USA):
I always love reading the My Lamma
E-zine. I am fairly up-to-date on most topics and threads
that interest me, but once in a while, one escapes my
attention. The E-zine gives me the "heads up" to go check it
out, if no one else does.
BBChris (Member of "Sister
of Sharon" & "Thinking Out Loud"):
The info in the zine is AMAZING! Must
take you hours to compile. We love you Lamma Gung -
love Sisters of Sharon xx
Having HIGH standards is wonderful!
Another reason why we love you! Lamma needs to have its
standards raised!!!!! March on Lamma-Gung and bang your
gong!!!!!!
Mr Tough (of
ToughDomains.com in Lamma Silicon Valley, Tai Peng):
I think that the e-zine is maturing
very well as the weeks progress. Much better to only have a
Web based version. In particular, it integrates with the
content of the site really well, facilitating good teasers
with links to dig further and wider.
Best
of the Week:
•
Quote
. (single-dot "Username of the Week" in e-zine
#13):
...(please)
remember the words of wisdom (from thumper the bunny) if you cant say something nice dont say nuthin at all.
•
Question
What have these 3
guys been doing in YSW this week?
Solution at the end of
this e-zine! Guess first before you peep!
A
very clean, clear, fast & easy to navigate website by very
famous Lamma-based photographer Bob Davis. This site is
showcasing his great photography and also has a bio, sitemap, even
a downloadable e-brochure with pages flipping over
visually!
don juan: Many guys would like to be an extremely
successful seducer like the fictional Don Juan. But now
there's only one Don Juan on My Lamma!
His
newly registered Interests: "let u know later". To welcome him, I've created a few Avatars for him to choose
from. Would YOU like a new Avatar?
About the E-zine:
Sample photo for "Computer
Graphics" Contest category
Instead of boring
you with website traffic statistics this week, let me describe WHY
I've been doing this e-zine for 15 weeks now!
It
has grown so much bigger, taking me around two days every week
to compile, write, edit, design, photograph, format, publish &
distribute to all of you.
BBChris (Classy Rock
Goddess):
Er - if it takes you TWO whole
working days, why do you do it? I'm immensely curious.
Does Lamma-Po get pissed off with
you!?!?!?!?
Answer: I do it for fun, as a creative
exercise and challenge, the reader feedback and growing my
publishing/editing skills & experience. It takes a lot of time to
create, collecting materials, shooting photos, chasing infrequent,
irregular, often late contributors,...
It
would make a great part-time job, if I could find somebody to pay
me for doing it... But enjoying full editorial freedom, no
advertisers to please (yet), no direct interference from
anybody... when do you get a great opportunity like that, surely
not in the business world!
No pay, no money involved at all, but the satisfaction and
sense of accomplishment from a completed e-zine is great! It's
some of the best, most rewarding work I've done in years and a few
people seem to like it...
Lamma is such a rich source of material, always much more than
I can use. This week I had to select my usual 8 topics from more
than 20 major new topic ideas I've collected this week alone,
getting fed by the fast growing number of collaborators.
Taking/finding/preparing all the photos & graphics, plus
formatting is at least half the job, writing is usually quick &
easy.
The
e-zine hopefully helps to improve our great little community
and gets people together, providing an online meeting place. Some
meaningful volunteer work can be done by supporting the local
charities and good causes, mixing silly and very serious
issues. But above all, it should be fun & entertaining to read.
If not, tell me and I'll try to improve it further, week by week!
BBChris (see above):
Oh - a few people have come up to me
and ask if we can have a 'search engine' for the site
installed, as they don't come daily, when they try and
find the previous threads of interest - they don't find
them.
Answer:
Yes, I've noticed as well. Even experienced Internet users
complained about not finding messages!
The
funny thing is that we've ALWAYS had a search engine. It's at the
top of every page, as a "Search" button!
But
it's not visible enough and easy to overlook in the current
standard layout.
I've
just highlighted the Search
button in bold red! Check it out on the right!
The
major event on the Lamma social calendar every December
(well, besides Xmas... and NY)!
Celtic Viking ("Mister
Lamma.com.hk"):
Beach Clean-Up
This Saturday, 7th December, an
organized beach clean-up needs a few cool bods to
pitch in for the community, and Lamma Fun Day organizers, to
perform the annual task of making Power Station Beach
safe for small kids (and big ones) to have a great time
on our golden Lamma sands on the 8th,
(hoooooorrrrrraaaaaayyyyyy)
We will be meeting a few of the local
ladies at noon, gloves, bags, bins, etc. will be provided
and the job should only take an hour or two, anyway, it
will be sunny and will be a giggle.
So come on down, bring a pal and a
beer, and be a happier bod for "doing your bit".
Thanks, Lamma Fun Day organizers.
Printed on recycled paper (there's
more to being cool than having long hair)
Meet webdog, Lamma-Gung & Lamma-Poh at the
Funday, selling kitchen appliances & distributing My Lamma
flyers:
It all started with two simple messages on My Lamma:
Insomniac:
Any advise out there for YSW
events, parties, games over Christmas?
My Lamma could organise a party
for contributors moderators and readers.... Or a boxing day
'b.y.o. turkey sandwich pic-nic' somewhere.
Good for pics on the Lamma calendar!
don juan (new member,
famous (wannabe) seducer):
Well it's almost the time Christmas
and New Year around the corner,well i was wondering if
anything was happening i will be alone during the holiday
period. We could have a get together at my house
which can hold 25/30 people!
My Lamma Christmas party will be happening only
if we can get enough people together, but we need to know a few
things first:
How many would be tentatively interested?
Would Boxing Day be a convenient day?
Have
you sent out your Christmas letter to your friends already?
Why not do the letter as web pages to impress your friends and
relatives? See the sample page header above of an online
Christmas letter & personal home page I did for a dear
friend
& his great family.
A
home page with photo gallery makes
a great Christmas present for a loved one & your family!
We're offering a Christmas
special, $888 for your personal or
small business home page, 5 pages (with or w/o
Christmas letter, incl. CV, photo gallery, anything you like),
incl. 1 year US web hosting on
Lamma.com.hk!
A big portion of the income from
this almost unbeatable offer will support our non-profit
Lamma.com.hk. If you'd like an e-mail address@Lamma.com.hk as
well, total incl. cost: $1,000.
If you'd like your own domain
name, plus your own e-mail domain, it's available for an
additional $388 for 1 full year, provided by our friends at
ToughDomains.com
in Tai Peng.
Hannele Rubin
(from Manhattan, not a My Lamma member yet):
I read your article "Real Romance in a Virtual World".
I very much enjoyed hearing your tale of fiber-optic love.
I have a few of those tales, myself, none leading to
marriage (though almost, a couple of times).
Personally, I think meeting potential mates on-line is
safer than meeting them in a singles bar. I'm glad to see
that yours has a happy ending. Take care.
I'd had an ad online for several years, had met a few
guys, and even dated several. I quickly learned that
anyone who looks for love online must develop a really
sensitive wacko filter.
I corresponded with guys who seemed normal, interesting --
even fun -- at first, but they gradually revealed enormous
social maladjustments. I received complete curricula vitae
(including links to publications), sexually explicit
photos, proposals of marriage, really bad poetry, really
inventive spelling, and letters that cc'd a dozen other
women's ads.
Married men wrote looking for traveling companions or
threesomes. New immigrants wrote offering to be gigolos
for "financially generous females."
- The original phase2
development has been stopped.
There is no phase 3
- The reclamation is
only part of the waterfront redevelopment. A new
library was part of the original plans.
- The Govt is
planning real public consultation - including
open meetings etc instead of the normal " this is
what you're getting. Live with it" approach.
Probably before Chinese new year - but dont hold
your breath.
- There is a Masters
degree course in landscape architecture (or similar)
at HKU which is using YSW as one of their
assessment projects. The Govt will look at those
plans, as well as the friendly guidelines proposed
by SaveLamma and the results of the public
consultation before coming up with its next plan.
- Given all the above
we're probably safe from the pier being
redeveloped in the next couple of years.
A great article by Mishko
& Cecilia Chu, recently in the architectural "hinge"
magazine, #64, scanned for your viewing & reading
pleasure.
Let
me tell you a short story that very recently happened to me &
Lamma-Poh:
For some time now,
we've been looking for a 2/F & rooftop flat.
We've had an eye on
the 2/F & rooftop flat in our building for many months and told
the property agent/owner that we were very interested, if it
would ever become available. She had found us our first flat on
Lamma and informed us recently that our "dream flat" would
become free in a few weeks. We were on very friendly
terms with the agent, Lamma-Poh playing Mah Jongg with her
frequently and she gave us newcomers lots of helpful advice back
then, even coming up with a nickname for me.
We
viewed the flat, loved it and the agent promised to reserve
it for us, giving us something like "first right of
refusal". No need for down payment between "friends".
We were getting ready
to cancel our current lease, sign the new lease and plan the
move for end-Dec.
But Lamma-Poh got
suspicious about the agent never talking to us anymore when
we met on the street regularly. She confronted her and the agent
admitted that she had rented the flat to somebody else
several days earlier, for just a few hundred dollars more,
without even telling us! She also made up a very transparent,
obvious lie why she had rented to somebody else, even though
the flat was "reserved".
No
problem with finding the highest bidder for her flat, but not
telling us, deceiving us and breaking the often-repeated
promises disappointed us severely... Obviously, we were
really pissed off.
Talking to several
other local friends they said she's reputed as a very
troublesome, greedy woman, taking advantage of others, even
though she's extremely well off, owning several flats on Lamma.
No names will be revealed, this is just a tale of caution,
not of vindictive revenge.
Beware of the
practices of some of the local agents!Without signed
papers, all promises are worthless!
Don't be deceived by
friendly smiles, empty promises & lies. Interestingly, in over
10 years of renting flats on Hong Kong Island, we never
experienced a bad case like this.
But
this is not the first case of dishonest property agents
we encountered on Lamma. When moving here just over one year
ago, we used different agents to show us around. Several times
we were shown the SAME flats by different agents. Valley flats
were EXTREMELY rare one year ago, the complete opposite of the
current massive oversupply of empty flats, even rooftops
quite readily available. The quoted rents by one agent were
consistently $1,000 to $3,000 higher than the other
agent's, for the very same flats! Buyer beware!
We've looked at:
•
a flat with an illegal Mah Jongg gambling den
in the flat below (all-day, all-night clickety-clack!).
•
a flat with a great harbour view, being blocked
just weeks later by a new village house being built just besides
it, blocking the view completely. The agent proclaimed to
have no idea about this happening a few weeks later when showing
the flat to us, of course.
•
a flat where the owner living just below couldn't
find the keys to show it to us. One of his several teenage sons
climbed up on the balcony outside, opening the 2/F flat
from the inside to let us in!
•
a great, new flat with 2 bathrooms, but no
kitchen in the flat, just a tiny kitchenette built into the
storeroom on the rooftop. The list goes on, but I've bored you
long enough now...
Flat
hunting in YSW is a truly exciting adventure! Lamma-Poh has
started to enjoy it as a kind of outdoor sport, just for fun &
entertainment, like window-shopping expeditions!
Do you know any
great flats w/rooftop in the valley, up to $7,000? Our quest
continues... If we fail we might even rent this little, romantic
cottage (left).
P.S. All photos in
this feature have been shot this week as samples for the
My Lamma Photo Contest.
This is undoubtedly the
very best & funniest new topic of the week!
A
pillage & plunder raid on Disco Bay is currently being
planned in great detail. It even has a flag already to fight and
to die for! (see right: Arms of the County
of Lamma Island). Even a strategy has been drawn up
already:
STRATEGY for the evening before
the attack (by webdog):
1.
Send out our Sexy Santas (see Editorial photo) to defuse their
men.
2.
Our member
Don Juan to paralyze all their women.
3. DAN the Anastasia can bake some magic cookies to help
them to get into mood.
4. Last but not least, LAP would provide a troop of dogs
and cats to befriend their guard dogs and
to
distract their vicious kids.
Goat Maison (Lamma
Oldster):
We might need a finger nail fixer when
we invade Discovery Bay on Lantau.
I was thinking about a dawn raid
using our dragon boat girls in the front line. They
would emerge from the mist, scale the harbour battlements
and stun the Lantauers with their clubs. (The cricket
team would supply the bats - please organise this John).
Then the Bookworm vegetarians would
storm McDonalds and BBQ the staff on the spot.
Meanwhile, Mr Stock would be playing 'Napalm Death' at
full volume from the pirate ship that would by this time
be moored just off the ferry pier.
The Lamma-ite infantry will follow
in the second wave and slaughter and pillage offending
members of the Lantau population, before raising the
'Peace and Love' flag in the main square. All Lantauers
apartments will be searched, and anyone found with a Chris
De Burgh recording will be tortured by the
FingerNailFixer.
All raiders should bring their own
helmets should they choose to wear one. (Lunch will be
served at McDonalds)
The sign that we are ready to invade
will come the night before. There will be purple
fireballs rising to the sky from Mt Stenhouse.
That's about it. Thank you for your
cooperation, and remember that idle talk costs lives.
We
need more registered members! For a more active online
community, more messages by more contributors and, last but not
least, so we can spam more people with this e-zine!
We have to admit that most people
on Lamma don't know ANYTHING about the existence of
Lamma.com.hk yet. This is most shocking & we cannot allow them
to continue living in ignorance!
You'll see our Lamma.com.hk
flyer on the walls (see left). You can view and print it here
as well.
YOU can help to change that
quickly! The more new members you can attract to register at
Lamma.com.hk, the more chances at winning!
We'll run a Lucky Draw, one
chance per referral, first prize:
One of Lamma-Gung's Christmas
promotion home pages, valued at $888! (see feature 3 above)
How's that for a great prize?
Alternative prizes available as well!
We
viewed the flat, loved it and the agent promised to reserve
it for us, giving us something like "first right of
refusal". No need for down payment between "friends".
No
problem with finding the highest bidder for her flat, but not
telling us, deceiving us and breaking the often-repeated
promises disappointed us severely... Obviously, we were
really pissed off.
But
this is not the first case of dishonest property agents
we encountered on Lamma. When moving here just over one year
ago, we used different agents to show us around. Several times
we were shown the SAME flats by different agents. Valley flats
were EXTREMELY rare one year ago, the complete opposite of the
current massive oversupply of empty flats, even rooftops
quite readily available. The quoted rents by one agent were
consistently $1,000 to $3,000 higher than the other
agent's, for the very same flats! Buyer beware!
Flat
hunting in YSW is a truly exciting adventure! Lamma-Poh has
started to enjoy it as a kind of outdoor sport, just for fun &
entertainment, like window-shopping expeditions!
