My Lamma Weekly E-zine

#13  (Sun, Nov 24, 2002)

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Latest E-zine online at:

"My Lamma Weekly E-zine" #13  (Sun, Nov 24, 2002)

My Lamma Photo Contest


Ad Poster for our new contest.  Click for wallpaper-size...

Table of Contents:

  1. Photo Contest Launched!
  2. DickStock Photo Comix
  3. Hell's Angels Bikers of Lamma!
  4. Fertility Island?
  5. Anti-poison for Cats
  6. Lamma Funday posters
  7. "Are you all smoking crack?"
  8. Local Laudable Luminaries


Hello to all of Lamma's professional, amateur & wannabe photographers!


Our big new contest has just been launched!

Send us your best Lamma-related photos, win prizes from local sponsors and get your work showcased as "Photo of the Week/Month" on My Lamma and in a local venue!


My Lamma had its first official moderator meeting recently at the Deli Lamma! A good time was had by all (webdog, Lamma-Gung, BBChris, e, plus Lamma-Po and Mrs. webdog), thanks to the two huge pitchers of Sangria donated by webdog, rewarding the moderators for reaching over 160 registered members and 2,000 messages. Thank you, webdog!


I'll do another printed My Lamma ad flyer (similar to the DickStock Special Edition: Music on Lamma), to be distributed at the Lamma Funday!

Maybe even a My Lamma T-shirt? Would YOU buy one for charity?

We need more active moderators! It's very little work, basically just keeping an eye on your forum, occasionally answering a question. In exchange, you get to play god in your forum, change, censor and even kill messages at will (but not obnoxious members)! Let me know if there's even the faintest possibility that you might be interested in moderating someday!

Cheers from Lamma-Gungan

(Attack of the Clones is now available on DVD, so Star Wars fan pit has renamed me...)

E-mails to the Editor:


Farmer Eo  (last week's "Lamma Website of the Week"):

Thank you very much~ keep up your good work

Norseman  (new & very active member):

Unfortunately many people aren't aware of the website but, once they have checked it, are hooked.
You have a good site going which embodies the spirit of the island and there are some great discussions going, particularly the cyclists and VV's and the restaurant reviews. It would be a shame to think that it is not getting the attention it deserves. Good work, keep it up!

webdog  (Site Admin):

What can I say, your e-zine work is approaching the quality of art!
Please accept my bows! {9 bowing smileys}

(moderator of LAP forum):

just read the latest issue of the e-zine and noted that the topic about bikers and drivers is the hottest topic so far. do I get a prize for starting this topic?
love your e-zine (so does mr 3)

k@  (moderator of Lamma Oldsters forum):

I have no feedback on your online zine. It is fine as it is.
I read the stuff of interest to me and not the stuff that wasn't.

Best of the Week:



zep  (commenting on "can drivers and bikers slow down"):

Jeez! Full blown road rage on Lamma, complete with veiled threats of violence and all. If Leggo's dreams are disturbed by the Ding Ding Ding of evil bicycles in our haven of love, peace and tolerance, is there anywhere safe left in the world?



Mr. Tough's wife, a NET teacher, has a really great teacher's website, targeted at pupils, parents, friends and HK-newbies alike.

Full of education resources, photos, stories and games, this is a fine example on how a website can make the very tough life of a HK NET teacher a little easier.

Well done, Mrs. Tough!


New regular feature this week!

I'll feature the "Best of the Week" quotes, topics, new usernames, Lamma Website, website stats and other highlights:
For more Lamma-related websites:



Our latest, clever member, #166, found out that special characters are allowed in usernames, simply registering as a full stop: .
(click the dot for more details about him/her/it...)


I wonder what we should call this new member? Remember the long-ago-abandoned ad campaign for Sun computers:
"We're the Dot in Dotcom"


About My Lamma:




Last month, we averaged per day: over 8,000 hits, almost 1,500 page views and 127 visitors! We transferred over 1,700 MB to our visitors in October, adding up to over a quarter of a million hits.


We've had visitors from 29 countries last month, incl. Mauritius (I wonder why?)

The e-zine page is now in the Top 10 of most popular pages...

If you're interested in more details (but why would you be?), see the traffic chart below.


Message #2000


It was posted, from the prolific #1 message poster:

Lamma-Gung  (Nov 19, 18:11, topic "Demographic study on Lamma-ites"):

How did we get from this Sex Poll to South Park?

Everybody's posting messages here, why not vote in the completely anonymous poll? We can't find out who voted for what age, so no reason to be embarrassed about it! Just be honest, nobody will ever know!


Daily usage for October 2002I'll also post my 500th message very soon.
This means that almost every 4th message is from yours truly! Yes, I know... it must be getting boring...
I'll try to be less prodigious from now on and focus more on creating this very time-consuming e-zine.


But we need more active message posters to step in! Don't be shy! Anything that might be of interest to at least one person (besides yourself!) can be posted, (almost) any-thing goes!


Search engines


People are finding more and more via search engines. Usually, they input search words like "lamma", "dickstock", "yung shue wan", but also more "unusual" phrases like: "bongo ladies online", "attack hamster", "sexy avatars" and "chinese vampire gallery".

Hmmm, I wasn't aware that we HAVE a "chinese vampire gallery"!


Hacking threat


Last but not least, a warning e-mail reached us this week:

webdog's friend:

Your site is probably about to be hacked and taken down.

recommend you quickly upgrade the phpbb to the latest version if you haven't already...the other sites out there on the net using the same system are dropping like flies as some idiot has made a program to crack and then destroy them. latest edition of phpbb fixes this.


Fortunately, we've upgraded already long ago. But we'll continue to be vigilant, improving our safety and security further, doing frequent backups, making sure that our members have a reliable and safe place to read/post their messages!


Top of Page | Table of Contents | Editorial | About | Best of the Week | E-mail Editor | Earlier E-zines | Next Week

  1. Photo Contest Launched!

    Our biggest contest yet has just open, welcoming your digital entries of any Lamma-related photos!


    Prizes:  Great freebies, sponsored by several local restaurants, bars and individuals, Lamma Bistro & Island Bar so far...

    Plus several free home pages!

    Winners will be featured in 2003 Lamma-rama Weekly Calendar!


    Official Advisors:  Bob Davis & other professional photographers.

    Official Judges:  Our moderators and YOU, via polls!

    Deadline:  Dec 31, 2002

    Categories:  Scenery, People, Animals, Humour, Computer Graphics, ...

    EntriesE-mail your digital photos or scans to

    Not more than 5 entries per category and person. Photos only used for non-profit


    For more details & questions, check out the "My Lamma Photo Contest" forum:

  2. DickStock Photo Comix

    The Photo Comix, using only photos by the Official Court Photographer, has been completed!


    It all started in the DickStock De-briefing! discussion four weeks ago. It was directly inspired by the Lamma police visiting Mr. DickStock before the concert, alarmed by this e-zine's DickStock edition!

    As Officer Heywood distracts Mr. DickStock with Lamma-Gung's "My Lamma" e-zine {which he ripped off the ferry pier wall} Sgt. Pang slowly, carefully reaches for his can of mace...


    After Dick's explained to them that Dick-Stock is about nothing but sex, drugs, alcohol and rock'n'roll, both Officer Hey-wood and Sergeant Pang are impressed and content.



    SEX? Maybe, later, after the concert...  DRUGS? "What drugs?" asks Mr. DickStock, before tuning in, turning on and dropping out...

    Gosh, so many sexy chicks in the party!


    Mr. DickStock pointing out the cute & TALL policemen to bbChris, while the Official Executioner of DickStock is turning up the juice on the Official Electric Chair for party poopers!


    The new "Hell's Angels Bikers of Lamma" on a family outing, ready to cycle over any slutty pedestrian in their path!

    I'm the "Child of Light" and my blessed hands can heal you from all worldly ills...

    but getting those goofy grins off your faces might take more than my powers...


    Our hero is finally taking care of all the policemen patrolling DickStock, by sending them via express mail back to their police box on Main St.!


    Our hero resting peacefully after the hugely successful DickStock, while somebody is getting ready to snatch his last DickStock T-shirt...

  3. Hell's Angels Bikers of Lamma!

    The epic debate between bikers and pedestrians has spawned new related topics like "Sailing Boats on Powerstation Beach"!


    We shall of course do our best to sail only on the left of the island and walk next to our boats, Moses style, in heavy shipping lanes. No-one has suggested moving the old and unloved boats from the beach so maybe we could find a status quo and move the bikes from the ferry pier to the beach.

  4. Fertility Island?


    With so many babies being born here, quite a few expectant mothers seem to have been taking free helicopter rides to hospitals in town for emergency deliveries!


    But why is it still so difficult to find a baby chair in Lamma restaurants?
    And what makes Lamma such a fertile place?

  5. Anti-poison for Cats

    Sheila  (LAP):

    I cannot think of an area of Lamma which is not targeted for malicious poisoning. It is everywhere and the victims are the innocent.


    Last night my cat was poisoned, and due to an immediate injection of anti-poison, he survived!

    Apparently you can get this from Hans the Vet. This is so important for people to know, IT SAVES LIVES! and is effective on dogs and cats.

    I don't know the ins and outs of it, and what poisons it can and can't work on, but I just want to get this out to people as soon as I can!

    Poisoning is such a horrible way for animals to die, but this stuff can save some!

  6. Lamma Funday Posters

    You might have noticed the massive rows of posters for the Lamma Funday all over the village, more than a dozen along the ferry pier wall alone.

    Would you like one?

    Doggy  (Lamma Funday organiser):

    We are going to drop off a bunch of posters at the Green Cottage, with the intention that anyone can go in and pick up one or two to take to their workplace or school or any appropriate local in HK (maybe restaurants around where they work or whatever) and put up a poster about us so that we can spread the word as wide (and cheaply) as possible.

  7. "Are you all smoking crack?"

    This title is quite an accurate description of the very active topic "We know (almost) NOTHING about the Universe!" and its weirdo inhabitants!
    AutumnAuburn managed to sum it up so nicely in just five words!


    Are you all smoking crack????


    All the sheer weirdness and temporary insanity stuff going on in this forum has been a delightful surprise to some and a source of utter disbelief for others:

    Recently, the discussion has been meandering from "nasty synthetic Eurohash" and "Supernova Gives Birth to Cosmic Monster" to Lamma-Gung being found guilty of crimes against Goatism, searching for very ugly women to burn at the stake and k@'s Avatar catching fire (see above) because he dared to insult our dragonboating ladies!

  8. Local Laudable Luminaries

    There are so many fascinating people living on Lamma.


    I'd like to start featuring some of them, doing interviews about their background and experiences. But it's "challenging" to find the ones who are willing, even eager to talk in public!

    pha*Q  (entering the two pictures on the right into the photo contest):

    HOW about [?] making it a portrait contest of Lamma luminaries with categories such as leading junkies, freeloading dirtbags, geeks & gits, ridiculous day-trippers, old fart alkies, young skanks, simple fogies, arrogant twits, dumb sluts, cheesy twats, sleazy Eurotrash, drunken geezers, loudmouth assholes, pretentious deadbeats, Swiss hippies, sacred cows, sacrificial lambs and other assorted flotsam...


    There's also a new topic/poll trying to identify the local celebrity in the right picture above:

    Next Week:

    First entries in My Lamma Photo Contest!

    Online Romances

    Lamma's Dark Side!

    More "intellectual stimulus"

    Suggest new topics, e-mail the editor

  9. 2002