My Lamma Forums

[Ji Woo]

Dear Gummer,
I would just like to let you, the person(s) who stuck chewing gum on one of seats on the 8.15am YSW to Central ferry last Saturday morning, know that, yes, you really did mess up my morning. Thanks.
I'm not quite sure what drove you to wedge your quid of soiled mouth stodge into the back of that seat. Were you hoping to save it for later? Was the bin really too far for you to reach? Has that quaint old custom of wrapping up your spittled spearmint into the wrapper and the depositing it away from human contact somehow passed you by?
Yes, I should have spotted the gum. But it was early on Saturday morning and I was a little woozy. And people don’t usually expect to find something like that on that seat on the Lamma ferry. We put up with the smokers lighting up as soon as they get off/on the ferry, poor souls, destined to a miserable death from lung cancer, but having to put up with gum on seats? What next? A turd, perhaps? fresh vomit?
Just to give you the satisfaction I'm sure you crave, I realized I had your gum on my bum when I got off the ferry and stopped off at the IFC loos to perform a necessary morning ablution. I went to pull down my trousers and found my shirt tail stuck to the seat of my trousers. (I wear long, untucked shirts.) A quick grope around my backside and revealed your gift. The gum then got stuck on my hand, the loo roll, my short cuffs and, oddly, on my eyebrow. (I must have scratched my brow with the weariness of it all.)
The good news is that olive oil really works. It dissolves the gum neatly and I saved my trousers and shirt. I don't have an extensive wardrobe, and the shirt was a gift, so I was happy to get the stuff cleaned off.
I've kept a bit of your gum, though, and I am flirting with the idea of getting the DNA tested and tracking you down. We have such a special relationship after all: your gob on my arse.
Lovely.
Cheers,
Ji Woo

[casanova]

Can I do it without the gum?

[F-X]

I didn't do it.

[spinoza1112]

I thought at first it was me. I am a heavy Nicorette user because I had a lethal smoking habit (four packs of Camels a day) and I am sometimes, not always, sloppy and absent-minded in the way I dispose of the gum. I usually try to make a point of pitching it from afar into the trash at Yung Shue Wan, and, when I miss, I make a point of picking it up.

But after rereading your post, I realize it probably wasn't, since I stayed overnight in Causeway last Friday, and unless I was really absent-minded on Friday morning (and the Nicorette didn't harden as it usually does) it couldn't have messed up your trip.

But just to be sure...what color was the wad? Was it a sickly, pale yellow color?

In any case, your post was a real wake up call. Even minor addictions cause pain to others, and chewing gum is to many people uncultured and American. In Paris I found a Nicotine pastille, Paris being the most civilized place on earth, but I really need to "kick the habit" even if it means singing sea shanties in a tragic baritone on the 8:15 AM ferry.

[Ji Woo]

"But just to be sure...what color was the wad? Was it a sickly, pale yellow color? "

Bum colour by the time I found it.

[spinoza1112]

[Ji Woo]

Hi Spinoza,
What I meant was fibres from the seat of my trousers/pants were stuck to the gum because I had been sitting on it. So no colour, just a kind of grey/black cotton cloth colour.
BTW, I thought the olive oil had worked. It got rid of the gum, but left a big oil stain in its place. Sigh. So now I need to work out how to get rid of oil stains. The palaver continues.
Thanks, Gummer.

[spinoza1112]

[F-X]

Gum on da bum's still better'n poo on da shoo first ting in the mornin.

[Ji Woo]

You're right FX, poo on the shoe is worse. Looking on the bright side, I was lucky enough to have a very minty bottom that morning, which can't be bad.
JW

[Ji Woo]

Dear Gum Person,
Just to let you know, spit wad, the olive oil stain proved tenacious and I had to bin those pants. I bought a new pair yesterday for $179 from G2000. They are black. So, gobber, if you see a tall person wearing a cheap-ish pair of new black trousers inspecting ferry seats for mouth turds, that's me. Why not come over and say hi? I'll introduce you to my backside.
Oh, the shirt I kept, despite the olive oil stain. So if you see a tall person wearing a cheap-ish pair of new black trousers inspecting ferry seats for mouth turds wearing a big black shirt with an olive oil stain on the back, I'll bet that's me.
Ji Woo

[Colette]

Rubbing alcohol gets out olive oil stain. Ice cube rubbed on gum harden it and you can crack it off. You should not have thrown away good clothing.

Now we know why chewing gum is illegal in Singapore.

[Alan]

[Ji Woo]

Thanks, Colette. I tried the the ice trick. Didn't work, though. I sat my trousers in the freezer overnight, but I couldn't budge the gum in the morning.
The olive oil , however, was very effective, but I was a bit too liberal - hence the whacking great stain.
I'll try the alcohol on my shirt tonight. Do you think absinthe will do the job? I've got a wee bit left. Or maybe I'll just pour vodka over myself in the Deli-Lamma tonight- I've done that before.
The trousers are long gone. I miss them.
JW

[Ji Woo]

Hi Alan,
If it's fresh poo, I'd agree, but the smell will linger all morning. If it's hard shit and you have tractor tread on your trainers, you'll need a chisel.
JW

[Joey Mosaic]

I've found that a shirt is very difficult to clean after rolling in poo for five hours

[Foxy]

Dog piss will remove most stains effectively, But it smells and may attract unwanted attention from certain dogs, depending on which dog's piss you use. It can be difficult to collect, too.

[nobby]

You gottta chewwwww the gum offf , so stick it in yourrrr mouht and chew til itsss soft then pull dee trowsersss out and keep de gumm in, easy

[Heji]

Have you tried alcohol & warm water?
If everything you've tried doesn't work, you'd better send the shirt to the laundry shop.

[Simplygood]

Why not put more gum on those panties and make it a new trend...the gummy jeans...Ji Woo better watch out where you but your bum...you know next time it might just be dog shit or HubaBuba...