My Lamma Forums

[Lokkanat]

Indeed a great guy and and a perfect gentleman. I shall miss his sense of humour. I think a lily pond memorial would be most appropriate.

[defensive tulip]

a lily pond sounds wonderful, I think the tai Peng gardeners would be up for it, they're a friendly bunch!

[Lamma-Gung]

Picture from Ian Watson:

[Lamma-Gung]

News from Pia:

Amy, Jenkins's sister-in-law, wife of his brother Richard, living in Central, is wondering how many people would come for the funeral in St John's Cathedral in Central on Friday, 1pm?

She is also trying to organize a reception at Hong Kong Club from 5-7pm on Friday and wondered how many people might come from Lamma?

Who would want to speak in church - who could also speak about him at the reception. (or do a reading)?

You can contact Amy directly as she doesn't know Jenkins's Lamma friends personally yet: 9038 8468

An obituary will be placed in the South China Post on Tuesday, tomorrow.

[juparka]

my sincere condolences to his family and friends. He's such a kind and gentle soul. I fondly remember him by the lily pond most mornings/afternoons removing any obstructions to live water feeding into the lily pond.

May you RIP Jenkins.

[Marilyn]

As I would hate to have anyone turned away by the staff of The Hong Kong Club their dress code is:

Smart Casual

Not permitted: collarless shirts, denim (including jeans) and sports shoes/trainers

[High Plains Drifter]

So Jenkins is gone, but his gentleness and love will always remain. A wonderfully caring human being. Remembering him now brings a smile to my face...

[Lamma-Gung]

SCMP today, Nov 24, '09:

[gargoyle]

Rest in Peace, Jenks. You will be missed.

[Ahmee]

Very sad to hear the news. I will always remember his warm greetings to me and my doggies whenever we met on the way. Me and my doggies will all miss him. May Mr. Jenks rest in peace.

[Lamma-Gung]

Emails from Elaine, Jenks's ex-wife. I've forwarded them to his family, as requested:

"I was married to Jenkin for several years and only today did I learn of his passing. This e-mail is the only means I have of any communication with his family.

All of the posted comments are true - his love of animals, of family and of his worldwide community of friends was heartfelt. No matter what the circumstances might be at any given time he was a gentleman!

Please pass this on to Richard, to Amy and to Paul with my deep sympathy and genuine affection for them. I would love to hear from them.

Additionally, the following might be of interest to Jenkin's many friends. Especially the younger crowd.

As we all know, Jenkin was an exceptionally intelligent though very private man. He was a voracious reader - discussing books with him was always a learning experience.

During his school years he consistently broke athletic records in numerous events. He was a strong tennis player and never would he have cheated on a line call. Ditto as to his game of golf. I am originally from Montana - we shared a home there at a year round resort where we skied, hiked and rode horses. While at Sandhurst, Jenkin played polo. Watching him ride was a wonderful sight. His horses seemed to sense his affection for them.

Listening to his recall of his childhood in Kenya, complete with a beach home on Mombasa, was magical. The stories of Jenkin's young life there with his uncle, Judge Hugh Mills-Owens, his wife, along with Richard, Paul and Grandmother Rosamund told of a life none of us will never know.

Surely his new residence is allowing him to continue to be excessively kind. It is bright and sunny and he is in complete peace, tending to his beloved friends, animals and plants and flowers.

Thank you for considering this. I am with all of you in my heart today.

Sincerely,
Elaine Wakefield (nee Hiles)"

[Lamma-Gung]

Email from Alene and David Freidenrich, former HK residents:

"It is sad to realize that dear old Jenks has passed on. I can remember the "old days" when you could not walk into the Captain's Bar at the Mandarin Oriental when you would not see Jenkins there always so graciously offering to buy you a drink. He had a very generous streak in his "salad days".

"Then, there were the days of playing tennis with him at the Ladies Recreation Club when he never lifted a racket to practice, but always had a lethal stroke on the court.

"We are glad that he passed on in peace with friends surrounding him."

[Marc Antony]

Jenks had a very nice send-off at the cathedral, well attended by Lamma folk, relatives and friends, and including some fond reminiscences well delivered by Mr Jones (otherwise known as Dickstock).

[DickStock]

Marilyn, I took that shot of the two in the Spicy Island some years ago....as I recall, Jenks had to CHASE me madly to get a hard copy to send out as an Xmas card.....GAWD those were (are) the days.....

[Lamma-Gung]

Here's the simply wonderful eulogy by Mr DickStock, after asking me for "some copy-editing":

"Jenkin Waldo Hiles was born in 1938, into a world about to be engulfed by war. Over his first few years, the war would touch him deeply and directly, and take from him…His 2 Uncles Killed in Action in the Royal Navy and Royal Marines....His Father, WALDO, a Squadron Commander in the RAF Bomber Command, shot down over Nazi Germany...taking the war straight to the enemy.

And then, when he was just a lad…after these OUTRAGEOUS losses; perhaps one of the best things that happened in his life, he was taken in and raised as a son by his Aunt and Uncle's family, The Mills-Owens and moved to Kenya with them and his two new brothers, Richard and Paul, who are here with us today.…

He attended the Prince of Wales School in Nairobi, received British Army Officer training at The Royal Military Academy at Sandhurst. He arrived in HK in the early sixties with the rank of Captain, lived in Queensway at Murray Barracks…. Apologies for my lack of detail about this part of his past; I hope to hear more of that from others at the wake later on this afternoon.

I'd like to talk about the last two decades when I knew him well…only 22 years…I don't remember meeting him...BUT, I don't remember ever not knowing him.

In the past week, one word: Gentleman…on Facebook, in the streets, on the ferries, everyone: He was a Consummate Gentleman of the Old School. If you look in the O.E.D, there will be a picture of Jenkin, with a rakish grin and one of his famous hats. (The pic I had in mind was co-incidentally published in the funeral program!)

Strangely, lots of people on Lamma didn't know him by name, it may sound odd,...Lamma is a place where you can pass people in the street for YEARS, nod and smile…but if you don't share a ferry with them, or a "hobby", you might never get to meet them…all you had to say, "the guy with the dogs and the hats…" And they would immediately spark on him…."Oh THAT was Jenks???? Such a GENTLEMAN."

Btw, Jenks would be amused that it's ME up here tawkin'…I'm a "Septic tank" after all, and he was the consummate British Gentleman...but he lived in my HOMELAND for several years…spent time in Greenwich Village in the late fifties, ground zero for the beatnik years…the poetry, art, music, non-conformism…and THE LADIES. Can you imagine what that must've been like for Jenks? He must've been in HOG HEAVEN. He was quite the ladies' man I'm told. I can believe that. He's always brought to mind David Niven.

(It turns out that the previous para was mainly the invention of my own demented imagination…but I swear I BELIEVED it at the time….but the time line doesn't pan out. Maybe someone told me he served in Greenwich???)

Later, he lived out in Big Sky country: Montana. Had a House in Big Sky, Mt, and an American wife…they separated many years ago, he told me more than once that they remain friends...I believe that too….He loved America and the people.

Jenks LOVED to live the GOOD life…and I believe he found it and built it on Lamma Island.

HK People LUV to make their little jokes and digs about our island…Oh, the hippies...the dogs…the bohemian lifestyle (whatever THAT means). But Lamma represents the good life and Jenks Reveled in it.

And you know, for all the jokes and 'cheap shots' it is absolutely AMAZING, the number of 'you people' who seem to roll up on a weekend or a bank-holiday...clogging our streets, bringing foot-traffic to a crawl…wave after wave of HK-side humanity.

Jenks could often be found at a table in the shade on Main St…maybe in front of the Spicy Island, or perhaps down the street at the Deli Lamma...maybe a cold one in front of him, his two beloved dogs WALDO and Lara at his feet…….(The image I had in mind was co-incidentally printed in the funeral program!)

It happened EVERY time I was ever with him….sometimes several times in the course of an afternoon. He might stop in mid-sentence. His face would light up, he'd launch himself out of his chair, wade into the crowds and start pumping some old friend's hand. He'd spend a minute or two chatting, say his farewells and send them on the way to the beach or the Pigeon Restaurant or wherever.

Then he'd sit down and reminisce to us for a moment about the people he'd just so warmly greeted. He had a memory for detail…a deep fondness for his friends…and a LOT of old friends….Do you know him, Jenks? WHY, OF COURSE I DO…known them for 40 years!

Last Thursday, I bumped into his brother Richard at the Club on the hill where they so often had lunch together. Richard told me of he and Amy visiting Jenks the previous day. I resolved to go that very afternoon. Mid-afternoon I am down on Johnston Road in Wanchai, vainly trying to catch a tunnel bus to Aberdeen and the hospice…There just WEREN'T any. I'm about go give up. Maybe tomorrow, I think. (Only an excuse. Who REALLY want's to go to the hospital?) But then a voice tells me that I'm a first class PUSS if I don't get my shit together and go. So I did…

I walk into that Hall of Death, terrified of the visions and the smells, scared to see my friend Jenks...but then I see two beautiful LADIES at his bedside and I remembered who my friend was. I stayed for awhile, held his hand, gave him what I believe was his final sip of beer...just happened to have a tinny in my bag…and left quietly...he was gone within a few hours....

This is often said...that don't make it any less true. If you have someone you need to visit…Don't delay, do it today…

I wanted to say this fifteen years ago, but I FINALLY said it very near the end…."You are the role-model for me…You EPITOMIZE the art of growing older gracefully and with dignity….and FUN~!!!" He seemed to dig it, but I got the bigger pay-off from finally saying it, I am sure of that....

Two more items need saying:

He had a cause…The Lily Pond. He took a great interest in the small pond at the foot of Tai Peng Valley, on the way up to his house. For a while, some vandal kept pulling the stones out of the 'dam' and the pond would partially drain. Jenks organized a work crew and some concrete, and they made a proper 'stone wall' of a dam. And the vandalism stopped.

But of course, as is the Lamma Way, some builder in the village decided to dump several tons of building refuse, rubble and lapsap RIGHT IN THE POND. Killed it. DEAD.

But maybe there's a happy end; last week I met some folks from a conservation group recently formed. "Living Lamma" They propose to make a sanctuary, a memorial garden, or pond, with lilies and maybe a bench….I think Jenkin would approve...

Jenkin's good friend Kumar reminded me the other day of something that Jenks absolutely LUVED. And he did it EVERY day…so I just want to know:

Hey Jenks, did you finish the Times Crossword Puzzle today? Can you help us…What was 27 across?????

Thank you. Peace."

[Nancy]

Folks from the Tai Peng Community Garden met tonight and we have agreed that a Jenks Memorial Lily Pond would be the greatest way we could honor this fine gentleman. More details will follow.

[Lamma-Gung]

Mr DickStock's has just updated and illustrated his eulogy above

And here's the complete funeral service booklet (Word format), emailed from Jenks' sister-in-law, for those who didn't get one in church or would like to have a look:

A SERVICE OF THANKSGIVING
FOR THE LIFE OF
Jenkin Waldo Hiles

[Lamma-Gung]

Jenkin's funeral: 27/11/2009

by Nick the Bookman

It's a special day today. A day of contrasts. Sunny/cloudy weather for the exterior landscape. Gloomy, mournful and resigned for the interior landscape. It's about 1230 and I'm outside St. John's Cathedral for the Service of Thanksgiving for the Life of Jenkin Waldo Hiles. Born 15/10/1938. Died 19/11/2009. He exceeded the traditional, time-honoured three score and ten years by one year, one month and four days. About 100 or so friends and family, both on and off Lamma, are here. The Service starts at 1300. Most of the Lamma grievers have taken the 1200 ferry to be sure to arrive early. After all, the only person entitled to be late is the deceased.

Dick(stock) Jones is chatting with the Officiant, Reverend Desmond Cox. A small table with the condolence book and the service programmes is near the doors. Flanked by two wreaths. The left side reads "With condolences, Gladys and Simon Chan". The right side reads "To Dear Jinks. We'll always miss you. With our love, Mummy, Winnie, Harvey and Nancy". The Lamma mourners are arriving. You all know who you are. As for me, I've never seen so many usually casually dressed people in sombre black dresses and suits. Looks like a casting call for a Lamma remake of "Reservoir Dogs". Jenkin wouldn't mind me writing this. To find a little humour in the sorrow. Reverend Cox echoes this in his remarks by saying "Jenkin would want everyone to be happy, while giving thanks for his life and his friends".

The Bible reading is from John 14:1-6. The verses say "In my Father's house, there are many dwelling places" . The late Hunter S. Thompson (who was a great devotee of The Book of Revelations") used a similar phrase "There are many rooms in the mansion". He was more cynical though. Reverend Cox also paid tribute to Richard, Paul and Amy Mills-Owen, who are Jenkin's immediate family in Hong Kong. The first hymn is "Guide Me O Thou Great Jehovah". More familiar to Welsh rugby fans as "Bread Of Heaven". The singing is muted. No where near the emotional intensity of any performance at the former Cardiff Arms Park. The melody is goose-pimply beautiful. Praise indeed to the organist Mr. Peter Yue.

Bob McNab reads Rudyard Kipling's stirring poem "If". Especially the lines "If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster and treat those two imposters just the same". And "If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue. Or walk with Kings - nor lose the common touch..." I think they sum up Jenkin rather well. The whole poem is in the programme. Bob is followed by Mrs. Shirley Fu, who sings a spine-tingling version of Schubert's "Ava Maria".. Thank you, ma'am.

Dick is at the podium to share his memories of Jenkin. Inspiring all of us to spiral off into our own memories. Briefly, Jenkin was "born into a world (1938), just preceding World War Two". His two uncles served and died in the Royal Marines and Royal Navy. His father joined the RAF and also perished in the futility and fog of war. He was adopted by the Mills-Owen family. They went to Kenya after the end of the war. Jenkin spent some time in Greenwich Village, New York in the early/mid fifties. Succumbing to the Beatnik pleasures of "books, poetry and willing ladies". He spent some time in Montana. Got married, later separated, but the two of them remained good friends. He attended Sandhurst, arrived in Hong Kong in the early sixties. Ended up on Civvy Street. Basically, Hong Kong and Lamma was his home for the next four decades.

Dick mentions that "people make fun and take cheap shots at Lamma. The hippies, dogs, the Bohemenian Lifestyle". Doesn't stop plenty of them from visiting Lamma on the weekends. Invariably they would walk past Jenkin, sitting outside Ah Hei's or Spicy Island with his beloved dogs, Lara and Waldo. Dick adds that he "would share a drink with Jenkin. He would pop out of his chair, greet passing people, smile and kiss them. Then he'd come back and say who they were".

Dick says that one word in particular cropped up "on the net, in the streets" when people reminisced about Jenkin. That word was "Gentleman". I agree. To me he was a Gentleman of the Old School. With a roguish twinkle in his eyes. When Marilena's sister Lisa came to visit us once, there was no room in the manger for her to sleep. Jenkin put her up for her entire stay. Put her up and put up with her. I'm joking. He helped me and Marilena once when were in dire fiscal straits. Action, not talk. No hurry to repay the loan. It was repaid. He also gave me his ticket to see The Rolling Stones at Harbourfest 2003. No cost to me. There are other incidents of kindness to other people on Lamma, but they're not my stories to tell.

Lamma is a friendly little community, but we don't all know each others' names. Many people didn't know Jenkin's name, but mention "the guy with the dogs and the hat" and there's instant recognition. Dick says he was one of the few people to visit Jenkin during the final days. He didn't want a lot of visitors. Dick says the last time he visited, there "were two beautiful ladies at his bed" in the hospice. He adds, that "I like to think that I gave Jenkin his very last sip of beer" Having smuggled in a cold tinny from outside. Dick considers Jenkin as "a role model for me. You grew old with dignity and grace". One of his final (and ultimately doomed) campaigns was to try and preserve the little lily pond near the fork turn towards Yung Shue Long New and Old villages. Some local eventually dumped a lot of rubble and trash into it. Hopefully Living Lamma will try to organise some sort of memorial for Jenkin. Maybe another pond. At the least, perhaps a Memorial Bench with a plaque for Jenkin. Possibly do something for the late Jonathon Gray at the same time. Just a thought.

Dick finishes by telling a story told to him by Kumar. Of Jenkin doing the Times Crossword each day. Dick's final words are "Jenks, did you finish the Times Crossword? What's 37 across? Thank you, Jenks. Peace". There's another reading by Paul Mills-Owen. A haunting and beautiful poem called "Farewell and Remember" by Geanina Haultain". The last verse in edited form goes "Cry only a little, and then smile... Remember me as I was, not what I have become, for there are bigger plans set out for me" I'm getting a little bit teary by now. So are quite a lot of the audience. It's times like these when I envy the ladies who can cry openly. It's a good safety valve. Us hairy-chested, virile men of action don't have the luxury of tears as an outlet for fear of appearing "girlie". Can't help it though. Were hardwired to be tough and manly. And, there are times that such behaviour sucks.

Reverend Cox talks briefly and candidly of Jenkin's final moments. Earlier, "he wasn't ready to talk about death and dying and pushed me away. Jenkin had a different way of looking at the times. He loved Lamma. We talked about the expat lifestyle in the hospice but right at the end, he took my hand, squeezed hard and let go. It's a privilege to be with someone when he/she is dying. It was a privilege for me to have that experience which I will treasure as an enriching experience" The Lord's Prayer is recited. The Commendation is read. The final hymn is "Amazing Grace" The blessing ends the Service. Elgar's Nimrod plays as Jenkin's closed coffin is slowly borne out of the Cathedral. The wake is at the Hong Kong Club between 1700 and 1930.

After thoughts from me. This is the first time since 1994 that I've set foot in St. John's Cathedral. Like Alistair Campbell, I don't do God. I have no time and tolerance for the scandals and politics that infest the various religions. The Irish paedophilia and sexual abuse case that's erupted recently. The similar events in America a few years ago. The Catholic Church's "moral" (read unworldly and ignorant) stance on abortion, AIDS etc. The thoughts and actions of little men in high places. But, I have absolutely no problem with attending Church today. This is where the true strength lies. Giving succour and comfort and help to the sick, ailing and grieving. Jenkin told Marilena once that he was Anglican. Looking around the mourners I see followers of several creeds in attendance. In one short hour, Jenkin has done more for Interfaith amity than the spiritual top brass. Catholics, Protestants, Jewish believers are present. Vernon, Rajan and Kumar represent our Indian brethren. There are Buddhists and one self-confessed pagan (she knows who she is). I'm an atheist. Normally, all these "isms" cause schisms. Not today. Friendship transcends faith. Goodness is greater than piety. That's one lesson we all take away from Jenkin's funeral. It's a powerful testament to the man. A good man who I was happy to consider a good friend.

By recognising and mourning his death, we also pay obeisance to the Ultimate Overlord. The Grim Reaper. Death is the great leveller. For everybody and everything. Our Lamma Tribe is now one fewer. The Circle is a little bit smaller and lonelier. We will cope. Not all of Jenkin's friends could be at St. John's. For whatever reasons. Those who came are the People's Poll. The proportional representation. I think faith is irrational, but also a comfort. Well, I'll cop to some irrationality. I have faith that Jenkin knew at the end that his beloved dogs Lara and Waldo are in good hands. He could die, knowing they wouldn't be cast out to wander like abandoned lepers. I have faith that he's in some metaphysical realm, waiting by The Great Gate. Waiting for Lara and Waldo when they take their first tremulous, uncertain steps into the Endless Tomorrow. Walkies!. Sound's a bit Ghost Whisperer I suppose. Their time together is frozen in the matrix of the SpaceTime Continuum. Unalterable and ineradicable. Now, I'm getting teary again. Sniffle!

[taipengsan]

Nick one-upped Dick in the final farewell to Jinks: the onetime poet fused rhyme and reason to pen a truly touching epitaph to the 'man with the dogs and hat."

This being my third funeral service for a Lammaite at St John"s Cathedral in as many decades, I can honestly attest to this having been also the most moving in its impact and the representative quality of attendance in terms of Lamma's population: a fair testimony to the measure of popularity Jinks enjoyed on the island.

Time now to match deeds with words and let's see some quick action on the Lily Pond Memorial to Jinks.

TAIPENGSHAN

[Marc Antony]

Reading through once again in another idle moment (special thanks to Dick and Nick for their efforts), I can't find any reference to Jenks' mum. His dad was killed in the war with the RAF - but does anyone know her story?