After all the Dog Killer discussions, full of "Bitterness, Divisiveness and Revenge", maybe we could try to chillax and discuss these emotions in the next Lamma Philosophy Café?

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Wimps

Sounds a bit early.... bearing in mind that a huge amount of Lamma residents are on the 7pm or later ferry. (As I am)

Hope all have a good night, but too early for me to join.

I used to be very very revengeful, my trips to China business trips and seeing the REAL china, (rural China), and seeing how bad some people have it to live in very very challenging conditions, that can only be descibed as hell (poisonous rivers, poisonous food, poisonous smokey air (usually from burning garbage). And knowing that this will lead to very very painful death. I used to curse the old Mormon President, Gordon Hinckley (I'm an Ex mormon, and forgive me if I say this, but alot of us were traumatized in the church (especially Gays, when the church devoted ALOT of money to anti gay marriage referendums, and many homosexual exmormons killed themselves, like on temple property and such places).

I myself was ostracized for being Oriental (growing up an Asian Canadian, Autistic nerd, with no friends (my grade school photo hauntingly resembles Cho-Seung Hui (the University student who went crazy with a Gun), So I join the Mormon church, inspired to come out of my Austistic shell. But like humans, further ostrazied for being a Mc Flipper.

Anyways, alot of us wrote poisonous stuff about Gordo as we called him, he was dying of anal cancer, and you can of course imagine the scaterlogical taunting we directed to him. (similar to the spiteful stuff can be found at "chinasmack"). Cancer is one of the more painful ways one can go out. And experiencing what it's like to live in a Chinese city, on a "TRADE SHOW" meaning only a few days, and still feeling foggy from toxic air. Just the air alone!, there' s still toxic black rivers that the Chiense have to deal with, and know that Cancer is just like that or this poisons caused Cancer, and only to be exposed to it, on a superficial level and STILL feel this way.

I recant my statements of wanting my enemies to die like this, or become untouchables and all manners of dying in horrible ways.... not like this... kind of meaning. not like this. Know what I'm saying?

I used to be very very revengeful, and it was eating me up worse than a pack of Double Happiness Chinese Golliwogs (I'm going to assume that's the British term for really strong smokes). after breathing in constantly burnt garbage from Ghenna (It's the only pratical way to get rid), Like complete white colouds). And I finally understand what this Christian forgiveness is. That Hell is MUCH MUCH MUCH MUCH MUCH ad infinitum than here, (and the sad is many more countries live in less dignified situations that China), after seeing poverty, and reading about accidents that happen in such places.

You really learn to sympathize with someone else, because you your own body is suffering. Like for instance, in Calgary there are nature forests that are constantly burned down, careless camping, thunderstorms, trees blowing up, Weibo Ludwig a eco terrorist bombing an oil well etc. And ever summer there is a white haze. Where the air tastes lasty (like toxic garbage should). and as I mentioned there is no real pratical way to remove the trash (which would just leak into the ground water), so many farmers collect the goo, burn them on a Friday. THEN the smog is augmented by ancient primitive klins (especially up in Ancient Cangzhou, those Beehive iron-steel kilins (Casting). THEN further augmented by the factories, and THEN minutely the driving of delivery trucks, labourers, tuk tuk bikes... and lastly the smokers. Needless to my lungs suffered the ancient 10,000 knives torture. (when they hot cup me, and do Chinese back care they're going to find an olympic swimming pools worth of brackish black deoxgenated slime).

Then there's the black and red water in China, nurturing our food source (and I'm assuming Hong Kong's as well).

Then to know there are politicially unstable countries, where bombers and nutjobs fight wars, say Moro Island in the Philipens, or Thailand, or violence or "Slum Dog Millionare".

I used to pray for God to reincarnate all my bullies, as Untouchables, or stigmatized caste (ie Mentally ill), and other really sick vendictive curses, or worse, reincarnate on another planet like Earth but worse.

Karma is a nasty nasty, bitch. Because this was only Mild (this trip, stayed in a hotel ). What if I lived in Tibet, or some really unaccessable place in China, and not a connected to Bullet train CHR Wenzhou? What if I lived in Afgastan where there is a War, or what if I was sczhiophenic living in a place where someone thinks I'm a witch... Like Uganda, they're ready to linch homosexuals, because of the poisonous rantings of one of the Pastors. Like this guy is EVIL. He makes Fred Phelps (of www.godhatesf-gs), the asshat who pickets peoples funerals who are gay (He has that right, ahhh democracy....). this Ugandanese preacher makes HIM look like an apostle.

Anyways the point I'm trying to make with my rant, is after experiencing beat downs, light (and I'm talking about getting beat down, on Christmas by my paranoid step mom, because she thinks dad was seeing another woman, and I was a focus for her paranoid rage or something. I don't know I was just standing there in line to go back to Shanghai, from Zhuhai. (OUUUUUUUCHHHHHHHH), I honest recant and retract my statement. I don't want God to curse anyone, especially my enemies.

Like when I was "healing" myself from Mormonism. I posted really angry and hateful juvinile infantile stuff (I was in my 20s, autistic, really hurting). When their recently deceased spritual leader "Prophet" Hinckley died, the years preceeding his death (and if the Mormons are right, evolution into a Kryptonian like being, Superman), alot of us were very very spiteful very very vendictive, very poisonous and toxic. He died of bowel cancer, obviously we made alot of childish scaterlogical posts, about feces and cancer (B.S. jokes), you have to realise that lot of us ex mormons were very hurt, some wives had to start over at 40! to back to school. It's like being in an OFFICE. And what we experience in the Rat RAce of Hong Kong, is a paradise! expecially lamma to say a person in Wenzhou, or worse one of those cities up in the interior. My heart bleeds for them. So it's sympthathizable to understand where such anger comes from.

But now I know what it's like to have a poisoned and pain wracked body, (imagine having to eat the food you grow with that black water).

Or a Canadian pampered prince from suburbia (me), mad for silly reasons?!!? Like "Che Gurevara" Poster-Tshirt level mad. Sheesh. Like I complain about the "man", and ohhh teacher so and so was mean to me because I have autism. Yeah Vanoc? In China, there are no schools for students with Autism. There are only like 20 doctors assigned to this problem of autism. You big baby. You cry bloody murder because you are paid 10 bucks an hour, and feel oppressed for lifting milk into the milk cooler, or have to sweep pop corn, boo hoo hoo Vanoc, a kid of 14 is poisoned with cancer spray, AND she's autistic. You pussy Vanoc.

Anyways, living the Light experience of what it's like for Chinese workers. Or Indians, or Bangladeshians, or Vietnamese, or Mexicans, or Brazillians. I can only look on these people with respect. It's like they put the video game level to SUPER INSANE HARD mode, and I put my self on beginner. If anyone should feel angry and vengeful to the world It's THEM, and since they don't and go to work, save up, and try their best to have as much of humanity as possible, and can learn these zen like patience of being forgiving. (hence they're be sliceing people up with Klinglon Swords), instead of trying to make things work, trying to go to school.

so no, I recant my curse I levied on my enemies, may God turn them into untouchables, life was hard, but infantly easy for me being a lonely Aspergerian robot being ostracized, and I grew into a poison minded Angry "Che" youth. When I see how REAL people suffer, how real people who still must live in such aweful hell like conditions, or there are captured children living in these conditions. I don't want my enemies to "Go to Hell", or the Buddhist land of colder than Canadian winds (and they get pretty cold in Canada and dry).

Wow, VacocLamma, your best post so far, I think, and yes, I've read the entire post, not just browsing or skipping it, like most of us might.

We'd have loved to welcome you at that Philo Cafe about Forgiveness. It seems to have inspired you to your own Forgiveness, expressed pretty well and very heartfelt above. Maybe next time?

It seems that poilkoop summed up much of your very long post in a single word post above:
"Wimps".

That's we are when we complain about our tiny little problems and how tough our life is, especially compared to the vast majority of humanity.

I might quote some of your post in the upcoming Thanksgiving Lamma-zine story I'm planning, if you don't mind.

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I've just watched the movie Incendies. That puts you in a philosophical frame of mind.