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Lamma Forums • View topic - Looking for writers (amateurs & professionals)
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PostPosted: Tue Feb 14, 2006 6:17 pm 
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Location: Pak Kok Village
In the short 1.5-year history of the Lamma-zine Blog, there have been over 100 contributors submitting stories and photos to this public island community website. Many thanks to all them!

But it's most difficult to get regular contributors, so we need a constant stream of new talent.
Anybody can submit a story to this blog for publication, Lammaite or not, any ethnicity or nationality, any profession and you do NOT need to be a professional writer at all. This is not a contest for "Best Story", but an opportunity to get read by several thousand people every week, even get some feedback via our forums, if you like.

Writing quickly and honestly, from the heart; funny or angry, silly or serious stories about anything vaguely Lamma or Lammaite-related is much more important than spelling, punctuation and grammar.

Full credits and email/website links will be provided for all contributors, but you can stay fully anonymous, if you prefer.
Barter deals can be negotiated, if necessary, for example free promotion/advertising of your products/services on this website.
Pictures (and videos) are always most welcome, but not mandatory, of course.

We'd love to publish short (or long) stories on these topics:

1. What you personally love or hate about Lamma
2. A new mother's look at the Lamma community
3. Growing up on Lamma
4. Retiring on Lamma
5. Inside the pet lovers community
6. Religions on Lamma
7. Lamma in the last century; 10/100/1,000 years ago?
8. After midnight...


These are just a few suggested topics, anything else is welcome as well.
Contact me if you or one of your friends or acquaintances might be able to help out and write a few lines (or more) on any of these topics.

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PostPosted: Sun Jun 25, 2006 2:41 pm 
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Surrounded by the chocolate sea
Accessible only by ferry
It was there we were merry
Under the ban
Under the yan
Under the banyan tree.

We went down to the godown in the heat.

Come wiz me to live under ze ban yan tree
Come wiz me to ze Cas Bah
Come wiz me to de Bookworm Cafe
And soak some rays in the morning by the sea
Of dim sun.

But they have she said spiders and worms.
Things that wiggle, things that giggle, and things that bite
Chomp in the night.

And what is that sound, she said, when we walk past Brother's store
That seems to come from a monster Frog?

And what are those lowering drawings
And that Englishman's blood that ran in the wood the bitter wood

Our son your son my son
Found a cap badge in the forest here
A prancing white horse a Hanover from before the Handover
Stained with blood. What next will he find?

Take oh take your island from me
Your island by the chocolate sea.
It is, she said, a Pastorale
You cannot go home again.
We are ghosts among ghosts.

But after he died and was buried at sea
A white haired Lady was seen on the ferry
Holding in her lap the Union Jack.

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PostPosted: Sun Jun 25, 2006 2:45 pm 
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"I think I see my father"
"Where, my lord?"
"In my mind's eye, Horatio"

The old gentleman makes his way in the zenith of Asian heat
Down the long and unscreened pier
Dressed in a suit and a tie.
Are we not men?

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PostPosted: Sun Jun 25, 2006 2:59 pm 
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"Il était un roi de Thulé,
immaculé,
qui loin des jupes et des choses,
pleurait sur la métempsychose
des lys en roses,
et quel palais !"

Yes there was a King of Thule, who immaculate dressed in a suit
In the magnificent heat of Mother Asia
Who caught the eye of Kam Lun as she rose from the chocolate sea
So immense and so variously filled with Fish
And had a little luck, caught himself a break
In the tables crost the broad estuary of Macao.

O what a lucky man he was.

"Ses fleurs dormant, il s' en allait,
traînant des clés,
broder aux seuls yeux des étoiles,
sur une tour, un certain voile.
De vive toile,
aux nuits de lait !"

The nights were a Milky Way
Everything was soft for a change
This allowed the King of Thule, eyes filled with stars
To recollect with serenity harder times and snow.

Where are the snows of yesteryear, asked Villon?
Who cares, thought this old gentleman.

Eyes filled with stars after so many years
This is mercy incarnate
This is mercy rising from the sea
Masked as terror.

"Braves amants ! Aux nuits de lait,
tournez vos clés !
Une ombre, d' amour pur transie,
viendrait vous gémir cette scie :
' il était un roi de Thulé
immaculé... '"

Yes gather round the campfire
And sing a rondelay
But don't sing out of tune yet
For that would spoil our day!

Bold lovers setting forward from Thule
There is no end to the ululation of the King of Thule
He wishes you the best from the middle of the chocolate sea.

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PostPosted: Sun Jun 25, 2006 3:13 pm 
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To the tune of "Hunting Tigers out in Indi-yah", Neil Innes, Bonzo Dog Doo Wah Band

With our English teacher serving chopsticks have no place
No no dear no no no dear no no no oh dear no
Eats his noodles with a spoon to get them to his face!
No no dear no no no dear no no no oh dear no

Learning English can be ripping fun!
Like "three Blind Mice", it's off to class we run!

(Chorus)
Learning English here in old Hong Kong
Here in, here in, here in old Hong Kong!

How many English teachers can you find who know Chinese?
No no dear no no no dear no no no oh dear no
Don't know how to order soup or ask for hot duck's knees!
No no dear no no no dear no no no oh dear no

English teachers don't speak Chinese at all!
Some of them are extraordinarily tall!

(Chorus)
Learning English here in old Hong Kong
Here in, here in, here in old Hong Kong!

(Spoken)
"Oh I say, Tommy Wong, jolly crazy scarey here in English class!"
"Nonsense, 瘋狂的男孩! You should be like me!
"Like you? But you shaking all over!"
"I'm not shaking I'm just doing the Kung Fu Hustle!"

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 Post subject: L/envoi
PostPosted: Sun Jun 25, 2006 3:19 pm 
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Lamma Gung, I hope this helps to show that Lamma Island has a poet or two or more who ululates by the shores of the yummy chocolate sea.

spinoza aka der Stille Amerikaner aka The Silly Bastard

wanted for questioning by the St. John's Ambulance Brigade

concerning the locus of the Magdalene

but he ain't tellin'

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 Post subject: Re: L/envoi
PostPosted: Mon Jun 26, 2006 1:36 pm 
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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Jun 26, 2006 3:14 pm 
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No need to worry about what they mean. Let's see what others have to say. If somebunny likes them, that is cool. If not that is fine too.

I will say they are way better that free association anchored to banal thoughts and thus unfreedom.

But that is just my opinion.

The best of the lot was inspired by my first week in Lamma, where I had to put on a suit in 35 degree temperatures to get a job and saw an Old Gentleman likewise attired also heading toward the ferry.

The poems pleased me. If they please others that is all good. I am under no illusions that I will win any prizes for as T. S. Eliot wrote, "fools' approval stings and honor stains."

How about improper limericks? I have a species. It is the "stretch" limerick in which the speaker makes droll asides in prose:

SHE LOOKED EIGHTEEN YOUR HONOR

There was a young lady of Lamma
Who found she'd become
[Despite her good intentions and the admonishments of the good Sisters who had undertaken her education from a tender and impressionable age]
A mama
[Having fallen under the spell of whiskers and soda in the Island Bar in the aftermath of the World Cup when male attention, previously transfixed by football, returned to their usual zone]
"This state into which I have fallen
Must be connected somehow to what the holy Sisters be callin'
A big word what is it is is oh yes Fornicatin."

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Jun 26, 2006 3:20 pm 
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I am no Gnome. My poems are no Riddle. That form died out with Old English:

The Wanderer asked, seeing scenes of sorrow and slaughter in his mind's eye, "why did the Chicken cross the North Sea in winter?"

The Seafarer replied, roaring, because it was a silly bastard.


I call the sea here chocolate because I swim at night and I need to placate its Goddess by saying nice things about it. The trouble is that it is warm and sometimes rather polluted with a Line of Scunge so I come close to a true metaphor by thinking that I swim in chocolate.

I will NOT quit my day job, of this you may be sure.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Jun 26, 2006 3:51 pm 
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Sometimes chocolate is a metaphor for poo. Fudge is also popular.


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PostPosted: Fri Dec 15, 2006 5:40 pm 
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Joined: Fri Aug 02, 2002 1:22 pm
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Location: Pak Kok Village

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PostPosted: Sun Sep 06, 2020 2:23 pm 
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Location: An island in Pacific ocean
Ah, its good to be back in the fragrant harbor.
How I missed the sultry torpid morning and evening rush, the jam packed narrow corridors of Cantonese chatter, hustle and bustle.
The bicycles, squeaking, creaking, rusting and pining for their masters day in, day out.
Fleeting or lounging like shags on a rock, the cats.
My cenotaph capsule, isle, rock, power station all in one.
Goodbye and hi.

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PostPosted: Sun Sep 06, 2020 7:03 pm 
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Wow, tjungarayi is back! Hooray!

I fondly remember your "creative" posts in this forum, pre-Facebook!
Where have you been hiding?

These days, the fun stuff about Lamma has moved to various Facebook groups, some of which I admin/moderate.
Apply to join "Lamma Island Residents", "Lamma Island Uncensored" or "Lamma Island Hong Kong".
And Friend "Lamma Gung", please!

Can I quote your post above as kind of a welcome and re-introduction, please?

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