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You are the judge. Your rating?
Excellent! 0%  0%  [ 0 ]
Good! 50%  50%  [ 2 ]
OK 50%  50%  [ 2 ]
Fair 0%  0%  [ 0 ]
Not recommended 0%  0%  [ 0 ]
Total votes : 4
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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Oct 30, 2005 3:05 pm 
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Location: Buck House
I don't believe Mr Gung is actually one of my subjects, although a fine upstanding gentlemen such as himself would be highly preferable to some of the dreadful people currently claiming British citizenship, so if he wishes to apply, I will personally ensure that his application receives favorable treatment.

My envoy, Lord Patten of Barnes will indeed be travelling to Hong Kong shortly, and I have instructed him to fill his diplomatic bag with Spam Rounders to give out to faithful subjects (there is in fact no such word as "Britisher") on Lamma. I am assuming that they pass customs without any violation of international diplomatic protocol and that no-one raises that old "Sinner of a thousand years" business again.

To expedite distribution, it would help greatly if you could send your name and address and the number of Spam Rounders you wish to receive to:

The Rt Hon Lord Chris Patten of Barnes
European Commissioner for Foreign Relations
European Parliament
Brussels
Belgium


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Oct 31, 2005 3:47 am 
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Your Majesty (or should that be Your Brendaship?), as a loyal and devoted subject of the Crown here in the Canadian colonies I wish to send my heartfelt warm compliments on your new portrait, which you have so graciously permitted us to view as your avatar. It brings tears to my eyes to see Your Majesty in such good health and looking so radiant despite having endured more than one "annus horribilis" in recent history.

Pray tell, would your new image soon be appearing on postage stamps throughout the Empire? Is it possible that you may once again eclipse the radiant Dame Edna Everage?

Oh, and would you be so kind as to ask Lord Patten to stop by here on his way home? I wish to speak with him regarding application of a little influence with the HK authorities in issuing me a lifetime tourist visa for Lamma.

Ever so grateful!

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Oct 31, 2005 9:09 pm 
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Thank you for your kind words Mr. Munro, or may I call you Charles, (I have not been able to bring myself to use the name Chuck since the time my own dear son was traumatised by being referred to in this way by certain sections of the tabloid press in the North American colonies).

I have always held my subjects in the Dominion in the highest regard (apart from that French lot in the Al Qaibec Liberation Front). I am aware of your reputation as an upright Canadian citizen and would be happy to fast-track your request for a visa to Lamma.

Please note that there will be a processing fee for this service. Like many other administrative functions, this has been outsourced overseas, so would you please send the cheque for US$20,000 to my account #42859664-11 at the Nigerian Commercial Bank in Lagos, Nigeria. It is of course under my local name, which is Akanke Ojukwu. (This means “Great White Queen” in Yoruba).


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Oct 31, 2005 11:43 pm 
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Location: Pak Kok Village
Only US$20,000?

So why did my own visa application, paid to the same account many years ago, cost US$25,000?

Anyway, it worked out great - I'm still in HK, legally - so I can only recommend the visa application facilitation and expediting services of the "Great White Queen", Akanke Ojukwu.

Hey, at only US$20,000 you're getting a real bargain and a great discount over what I paid! Hurry up and use this low-cost offer right now, as it might go back up to the former administrative fee very soon! Transfer the money RIGHT NOW! Awowee jubilorrah masahoopla, as they say in Yoruba.

P.S. "The Great White Queen" is NOT a Lamma-zine advertiser (yet).

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Nov 01, 2005 7:58 am 
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Brenda wrote:
Thank you for your kind words Mr. Munro, or may I call you Charles

You may certainly call me Charles, your gracious Majesty, having had the great good taste to name your wayward son after me in the first place. Oh, and about that rather strange, erm, 'lady' he's been getting around with lately ..............

Brenda wrote:
.... so would you please send the cheque for US$20,000 to my account #42859664-11 at the Nigerian Commercial Bank in Lagos, Nigeria. It is of course under my local name, which is Akanke Ojukwu. (This means “Great White Queen” in Yoruba).

Hmmm, that doesn't appear to be the same name attributed to the very same account number being referenced in my current discussions regarding the rescue of a certain large sum of inheritance money, for which I get to keep 20%. Perchance you could simply deduct the 20 Grand from the amount you'll be forwarding to my account when the afore-mentioned transaction is complete?

Lamma-Gung wrote:
Hurry up and use this low-cost offer right now ...

Thanks for the heads-up, L-G! . If it works out I'll buy you a beer ... a Rauchenfels with that cute little ceramic stopper, specially imported for you. :)

Oh, and L-G, have we maintained topic drift to the expected high standard so far? I'd really hate to sully the reputation of Her Majesty, seeing as how She's now intimately involved in these discussions. :roll:

Jeeez, I've had far too much caffeine today.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Nov 01, 2005 9:43 am 
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Insomniac wrote:
My inagural purchase at the Full Monty of a 'chicken mushroom pitta' went from the plate to the bin. Disgusting. Even my family advised me not to eat it. When does a 'chicken mushroom pitta' have prawns as part of its ingredients? The pitta bread was so soggy that it stuck to the plate after leaving the foil wrap. The prawns looked old and smelt vile and were unexpected nasty visitors.

What is the point of having a take-away run by tupperware boxes and a microwave? I want my $40 back. I feel ill after the smell of it.


A chicken mushroom pitta? Come on mate, what did you really expect after ordering that from a fish and chip shop?

The prawns sound a bit rough though.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun May 14, 2006 2:40 pm 
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Full Monty seems to have shut down a couple of weeks ago. According to rumour, permanently.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon May 15, 2006 8:55 am 
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Really? I was starting to wonder about it being closed all the time. I thought that they were on a long vacation, maybe.
Could their closure have something to do with them never advertising on this site? Maybe not...

So my chance to try their food has gone, maybe forever, as I've never ever tasted any of their food so far, I have to admit.
As it's got the lowest ratings of any place on Lamma (7 votes of Not recommended and not a single vote of Excellent or Good), I was never really eager to try. A friend trying to persuade me to try their incredibly horrible-sounding "Deep-fried MARS bar" shooed me away even more.

Can some of their many regular (probably British) customers confirm if the closure is permanent?

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Last edited by Lamma-Gung on Mon May 15, 2006 9:44 am, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon May 15, 2006 9:07 am 
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It must be because they never advertised on your site, hereafter known as the CURSE OF GUNG which will guarantee business failure for all future tight-fisted non-advertisers.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon May 15, 2006 9:29 am 
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Hey, be careful with those curses! Some people might take you seriously! THERE IS NO CURSE OF GUNG!

If there would be such a sinister thing, MOST businesses in YSW would be doomed, for example all Chinese restaurants!
Only a select few are advertising currently and their businesses are almost all doing very well.

There's no CURSE OF GUNG, but the opposite might be true, a BLESSING OF GUNG, giving good mojo for your business, good Cyber Fung Shui helping your biz to thrive and propser by making it more widely known.
The BLESSING OF GUNG seems to work especially well for new, small and little-known businesses, from recent experiences.

But then, I might be seriously deluded (again)...

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon May 15, 2006 10:31 am 
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If it has closed it is truly a shame. The number of decent restaurants and bars in the village has droppped in the last few years. With the Lamma Bistro site now being turned into a gas shop and any other spare bit of real estate on the Main Street serving those little balls of shit on a stick the future is definitely not looking bright.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon May 15, 2006 10:59 am 
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The Full Monty has been taken over and should open in june I think, they will not be concentrating on the fish and chip side too much i hear, but will concentrate on dinner boxes for the evenings and then onto fresh bacon/ sausage/ egg baguettes rolls etc for the morning ferry crowds, also there is a rumour that the back where the old gym was may be converted to a garden centre which I think is truly needed in the village.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Jun 29, 2006 1:42 pm 
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Obviously, the rumours were correct this time and The Full Monty has just reopened last night!

Very friendly Filipinas Dina & Esther are serving take-out dinner boxes at $45, after buying out the place from Pierre who's no longer involved. They can expect quite a number of new customers who wouldn't patronise The Full Monty before, including myself.

Opening only in the late afternoons, they have 2 meat and one vegetarian dinner box choice so far and they looked most appetising. Got to try some of them tonight! The daily changing menu looks a bit similar to what Mavis used to offer in Aroy Thai/Corner Pin some months ago and Dan before that. No news yet if the new manager of the "Banyan Bay Cafe", Cathi, will offer any dinner takeaways.

Takeaway breakfasts will also follow soon in The Full Monty, the happy pair has announced. But no desserts yet, even though I doubt that anybody will miss the incredibly yucky "Deep-fried Mars bars" that they used to offer in there.

I wonder if they'll keep the restaurant's name as it was inspired by Pierre's cute daughter Monty.

We hope to hear from Dina and Esther personally in this forum as they're already frequent readers of this forum...

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 Post subject: A waste of mastication
PostPosted: Thu Jun 29, 2006 1:55 pm 
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When I first arrived at Lamma I was pleased to see a 'fish and chips' shop. Consequently I tried it and thought it was the worst I have ever had. The chips were soggy and oily and the batter on the fish tasted awful.
Haven't gone there since.
A total waste of money and mastication.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Jun 29, 2006 2:04 pm 
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So you'll be glad to hear that they're not serving fish 'n' chips anymore at all.
I've never tried them, so I can't comment.

Maybe later, they'll start offering fish 'n' chips, if their customers keep asking for it...
But all the takeaway food is pre-cooked in big containers now, similar to Thai-Thai or Dan's before.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Jun 29, 2006 2:14 pm 
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I tried the meatballs and they were very nice indeed, I like the fact they have a different menu every night too - its easy to get bored with the same old take outs on lamma :D


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PostPosted: Thu Jun 29, 2006 3:22 pm 
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i had the potato, pumpkin and chickpea dinner box -- really tasty.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Jun 29, 2006 4:02 pm 
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Time to reset the polls to 0, so you can all start voting again for this new place, AFTER trying it first, of course.

The former Full Monty got the following 10 ratings in total:

0 Excellent! 0 Good! 1 OK, 1 Fair, 8 Not Recommended, the worst ratings of any place on Lamma, but that might have been partially a vote about the owner not just about the food...

Let's hope the new owners will do much much better!

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Jun 29, 2006 5:37 pm 
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I had a little taster last night and I must say it was excellent, Mrs Meldrew and I will be visiting this new establishment for a full meal tonight and if last nights food is anything to go by it should be a good feed my rating is 2 thumbs up and a we are not worthy bow. :thumb-up: :thumb-up: :bow:

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Jun 29, 2006 6:03 pm 
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I tried the takeaway at the “Full Monty” (I hope they change the name) last night and it was splendid..! I had the pork dish that was on offer and it was scrumptious, the meat melted in my mouth and was very flavorful.

It makes a change to be able to just pop in to a takeaway and have the food ready to straight away, rather that having to wait like you have to in most, if not all, of the restaurants offering takeaway on Lamma.

So it gets a big thumbs up form me.

A suggestion for a new name could be “Dina’s Diner”. It’s got a nice ring to it.

:thumb-up: :thumb-up: :thumb-up: :thumb-up: :thumb-up:

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