Fellow Lammayans & Friends!

If you like my Lamma Our Shire and Boggart Boogie Nights [ Nov 8 ], I hope you will like this one too.

Lokkanat

The Fast & Furious of Lamma

Despite the tranquil and laidback atmosphere of our Shire, Lamma has a fast and furious side not many weekend Middle Earth visitors may know.

Our number one Fast & Furious is none other than our very own Rohirrim, affectionately known by Lammayans as VVs. They are an essential and integral part of our Shire for a number of reasons. In addition to providing delivery services and noise pollution, they help us decimate our toad population by squashing toads at high speed. In fact there is a jackpot for the highest number of squashed toads. Skinny Spike with his youthful and serious dark moody looks is the current front-runner with over 1,000 squashed toads well ahead of last year’s champion Skull Face.

Unfortunately, this year may be our last year to hold the Squashed Toad Tournament as our toad population is getting dangerously low. Snakes which live on toads are now having a hard time finding food. Some snakes are even trying to put themselves up as lovable pets. They sneak into people’s home looking very innocent and docile, hoping for some affection and maybe even a permanent home. Sad to say, so far no one has adopted any snake. But we do have some very kind souls who allow some snakes to at least live in their garden. Bless them for not killing or eating the snakes.

So currently our Shire Ministry Of Transport is working with the Rohirrim to start a new Dog Crippling Tournament for next year. It is still in a draft stage but our VV contestants can be seen up near Tai Ping and Fire Station Path practicing already. Rumour has it that our Shire Ministry Of Transport is going to raise the minimum speed to make the new Tournament more interesting. For instance, a VV contestant must cripple a dog at high speed well above the current limit. We are not sure who might be interested to enter this Tournament. So if you notice any VVs practicing high speed maneuvers, do let us know. Send us the VV numbers.

Our number two Fast & Furious is technically not on Lamma. You only see them on school days in the afternoon on the ferries. They scream, they yell, they stomp, and they run around terrorizing everyone. They are the Lammayan brats, rejects from Hogwarts. Some Lammayan parents like to train their brats while they are young. They either go on the ferry with their brats themselves or they send their maids. The brats are then monitored with minimal interruption to ensure they develop their own distinct obnoxiousness and disrespect for others. The older brats don’t need their parents or maids around to see to their development. They have learnt to use verbal abuse and hazing techniques to carry on with their own DIY training.

It’s a highly complex socialization process. So far no one has been able to capture this on tape to study how parents and maids allow this unique development to take place. So, if you happen to be on a ferry to Lamma with a bunch of Lammayan brats and you happen to have a video camera, please do put everything on tape and post it on YouTube and send us the link. There are a lot of scholars and Lammayans who wish to study them more closely. Please pay particular attention to the parents and the maids and not just the brats. It would be great if you could actually get them to comment on their motivations and techniques behind such socialization process.

Lamma’s Fast & Furious ~ you’ve gotta be a Lammayan to love and hate them!

Just a reminder that this is pure fiction!

No news is good news, I guess. Since no one has posted any response, nasty or nice. Here is another one for you!!! Enjoy!!!

Lammayan Elves

The Elves once stood alongside Man to fight against evil forces. But these days they are more interested in playing with their balls and riding their ponies.

The most powerful and elusive of them all are probably the Fire Mountain Elves. They have mastered the elements. So, naturally, when there is a fire or fallen tree, the Fire Mountain Elves are there to use their magic and might to ensure the safety of Lammayans and friends. Once they feel there is no imminent danger, they quickly retreat to their mountain enclave.

The Fire Mountain Elves follow very strict regimes to keep themselves physically and mentally fit. If you venture up to their mountain enclave, you can see them wearing their training outfits which are very skimpy, if not a bit too revealing, short shorts. They play with their balls, be it volleyball or tennis, in a friendly competitive manner to sharpen their reflexes. They also do a meditative trance-liked jog back and forth. It can be quite unnerving if you are alone walking along the path and keep seeing the same near-naked elf slow-jogging pass you. But don’t be scared because they are really quite friendly.

The Forest Elves are an odd bunch. While some are friendly and enjoy blending in with local Lammayans, others are aloof and arrogant preferring not to be bothered by Lammayans at all. You sometimes see them riding their ponies in the Shire. Instead of mastering the elements, the Forest Elves focus their energies on illusions and persuasions. Whenever there is a dispute amongst Lammayans and friends, the Forest Elves cast their spells to confound people, making them having a hard time figuring out what the dispute is all about. Sometimes the Forest Elves simply make up a whole bunch of ridiculous disputes till people eventually give up because it’s more trouble getting the Forest Elves involved!

Occasionally, we get the High Elves from Middle Earth visiting our Shire. They are more concerned about the environment, from landscape balance to the welfare of magical and non-magical creatures. Unfortunately, they don’t seem to be around lately. All these constructions have gone rampant and are really getting out of control. Some Lammayans are wondering about the future of our Shire and are worried about our environment and safety. While some believe it’s all about some greedy investors trying to turn our peaceful and serene Shire into a bustling luxury holiday resort for Middle Earth, a few think the dug-up holes and trenches along the paths are just means to keep our ageing population down.

Unfortunately, none of the Elves on Lamma look anything like Legolas!

Fast & Furious . . .
Love the story !
Let's vote!
I vote for VV 248. . sometihing. That's my bet who's gonna win the dog crippling. . .
I wonder why none of the VV contestants smile?
Been hoping to get a good snapshot of any one of them. . .
I'm actually one of their fans and I so want to have an signed autogragh with one of them.
Come on everybody, let's vote and have some fun!

Petronum Festival on Lamma

Six and a half weeks after Boggart Boogie Night aka Halloween marks the start of Petronum Festival of our Lamma Shire. It’s a festive season of happy thoughts and magical dreams. Here is an old Lammayan nursery rhyme to get you ready for the charms of Petronum!

On the first day of Petronum
Gaze towards early eastern sky
A Golden Phoenix shall rise high
To bring Man peace and harmony

On the second day of Petronum
Walk down south to electric sea
Two Blue Dragons shall await thee
To reveal all from crystal ball

On the third day of Petronum
Listen to west wind of nightfall
Three Fat Fairies shall sing for all
To dance and dazzle in delight

On the fourth day of Petronum
Look upon northern star of bright
Four Purple Pixies in mid flight
Sprinkling life on Shire’s nature

On the fifth day of Petronum
Love to all friends past and future
Five Angels shall reward for sure
Those with no bounds to love and care

On the sixth day of Petronum
Irresponsible souls beware
Six Grim Reapers ready to snare
Those with no mores to Devil’s lair

Come seventh day of Petronum
Wash all vileness out of thy hair
Seven Dementors in the air
To drain life from those who are mean

On the eighth day holy silence
Falls across the land of the Seen
To warm and tender loving scene
Eight cherubs bring festive tidings

On Petronum day we rejoice
With happy thoughts and lovely things
But forget not those without choice
For those who share get true blessings

No one knows the true origin of this nursery rhyme. But there is an old belief that it is actually a riddle made by the Old Ones who inhabited Lamma long ago when Lamma was not an island. Some say the old ruins on Lamma may hold clues to crack the riddle and the one who solves the riddle will bring Lamma into a new age. Centuries have passed and no one has solved it yet!

Anyway, Happy Petronum Festival On Lamma!

Your prose seems to be a cross between Thorton Wilder and Tolkien.

I'm a nat! I live off energy from people and things around me. I must have somehow come across some fans of Wilder and Tolkien!

_________________
You don't want to see my Avatar

What does New Year mean to each of us? I embrace each New Year with resolutions...... one of which is being a diligent person and don't fuel on greed of others.

Happy New Year !!!

Lammayan Tigers

In the Old Days when Lamma was connected to the northern land mass, the sea level was much lower. Lamma was then just a hilltop outpost overseeing a vast patch of fertile land to the south. As the sea level began to rise, some mystical creatures from the south migrated up north to Lamma. One of them was a pack of feline dogs with golden brown brindle markings.

According to the Lammayan Chronicles, the locals first noticed large black dogs with tiger markings in the forests shortly after the first sudden rise of the sea. They also noticed the large black dogs behaved more like cats than dogs and preferred to venture out of the forests under the cover of night. Their golden eyes glowed in the dark and they had this long growl which sounded like a purr. So the locals started calling them Lammayan Tigers.

Lammayan Tigers and locals lived together in harmony for seven years. During this time the harvest was good and more people came to settle down in the fertile land south of Lamma. Travelers from the north came to see the Lammayan Tigers and local taverns and businesses were all happy making a lot of money from the travelers.

Then one night shortly after the first full moon of the lunar year the Lammayan Tigers started to howl. The locals were scared to go out and all night they stayed up listening to the blood curdling howls of the Lammayan Tigers. When the sun rose the next day, the locals ventured out and noticed the Lammayan Tigers were all gone from the forests.

The following night the locals heard the howling again but this time it came from the hilltop. Some of the locals went out to see what was going on and they saw the golden eyes of the Lammayan Tigers all over the hilltop.

The next day the locals talked amongst themselves wondering what was going on with the Lammayan Tigers. One of the biggest land owners who had never really liked any cats and dogs saw the opportunity and claimed the population of the Lammayan Tigers had grown too large and their evil wild nature had begun to surface. It would be a matter of time before the Lammayan Tigers start raiding the local village. Although some of the locals were scared, they did not pay much attention to the land owner because they did not like him.

That night in the middle of the night the howling started again like the night before. But this time the howling was just outside the village and the howling was almost frantic. Remembering what the land owner had said earlier, some of the locals went to see the land owner for advice. The land owner told the locals they must kill the Lammayan Tigers or they would lose their village. So together they rounded all men and women of the village and confronted the Lammayan Tigers just outside the village….

To Be Continued…

Lammayan Tiger sighted !

another sighting !

It all started the night of the first full moon of the lunar year when the sky was clear and the stars were shining bright. During the course of the lunar eclipse, the Lammayan Tigers saw the signs in the sky and sensed the future in the air.

Fourteen thousand years ago…

… a wizard went on a bushwalk into the wilderness. For 30 years he wandered looking for someone to pass on his knowledge because the gods had told him in a dream. Then one day he came across a pack of feline dogs in a large oasis. He was old and tired. When he saw the feline dogs, he thought the gods had abandoned him and the feline dogs would surely devour him. But instead the feline dogs found him fruit and kept him warm at night.

Every night the wizard noticed the feline dogs would gaze upon the stars. At first he thought the feline dogs were just curious about the twinkling stars. Then one night the feline dogs started to howl and became agitated. So he looked up at the stars and he realized the feline dogs could read the signs of the sky.

The feline dogs nudged the wizard and urged him to leave with them. But the wizard was old and could not move properly. He knew his time was up and he was heart-broken by the kindness of the feline dogs. Instead of slowing down the feline dogs, he asked to speak with the leader of the feline dogs for he must fulfill what the gods had told him.

“Anoob, I am old and I can go no further. You must lead your pack south east to solid high ground before the sand swallows up everything. Once the sand is all settled, you must travel up north along the river where you will find men like me. To you I pass on the power of speech and my knowledge of life and death. Now you must go.” The wizard smiled and passed away.

Anoob cried and cried. Although he knew he must lead the pack away, he could not bring himself to leave the body of the wizard to the elements. So he told his pack to go south east and wait for him up the mountain near the great lake.

When his pack had left, he cleansed the body of the wizard with the knowledge of life and death the wizard had given him. Anoob then dug a deep hole in the sand and buried both the wizard and himself….

To Be Continued…

possible Lammayan Tiger sighting !

For 90 days Anoob stayed buried with the wizard while the earth shook and the sand churned. For 90 days he guarded the body of the wizard. When all was settled, he dug out and carried the body of the wizard to the great lake to find his pack.

His pack had waited faithfully for Anoob at the great lake. When they saw Anoob, they were shocked to see how he had changed. The elements and the starvation had ravaged, if not transformed, the body of Anoob. His dark fur now had streaks of golden sand markings and his eyes were the colour of golden sand.

Some of the feline dogs were angry that they had waited for so long and they did not approve Anoob of his recklessness to risk his own life for the preservation of a dead man’s body. To them, Anoob said, “All life is sacred and death is just a transition in life. For over 90 days you waited for me. No doubt you wondered if I had perished. Yet you waited. You waited because you knew I would come back. I waited because I knew the wizard would be back.”

Anoob followed the last words of the wizard and led his pack up north where they found indeed wise men like the wizard. With the power of speech from the wizard, Anoob explained to the wise men up north the story of the wizard and the plight of his pack. The wise men were so impressed by Anoob that they built a temple to honour him and they took him and his pack as their equals.

Anoob lived for nearly six thousand years and men had come to revere him as a god. With the foresight of Anoob and his pack, men flourished and learnt the secrets of the stars and the knowledge of life and death. Giant sandstone temples and monuments were erected throughout the kingdom of the wise men to honour and worship Anoob and his pack.

Anoob fathered a lot of puppies but none of them had a life span longer than 20 years. Although his descendents did not inherit his longevity or power of speech, they all had eyes and brindle markings of brilliant golden sand colour. They could all read the signs of the sky and foresee the future….

So on the night of the lunar eclipse when the Lammayan Tigers saw the signs of the sky, they knew what they had to do lest neither Lammayan Tigers nor their fellow men would live no more….

To Be Continued…