Story Of Seaman Ha ~ Part Two

On the day of the exhibition Seaman Ha put on his best outfit and went to the town hall where the exhibition was held. When he got there, he was not allowed in. He was told it was by invitation only.

This, however, did not deter him. Seaman Ha started to make a huge fuss just outside the town hall, claiming he was the artist of Lamma and demanding to have a word with the visiting artist. All the guests knew Seaman Ha was no artist but they did not know how to politely tell him so.

Soon a small crowd was gathering outside the town hall. Villagers who were not invited decided to support Seaman Ha and demanded entry to the exhibition as well. In the end the organizers allowed Seaman Ha in and told the villagers they could come by the following day.

Seaman Ha arrived, dressed in a bright hat, some socks and nothing else. His penis looked tiny in the dull moonlight glow. He danced in front of the crowd but they ignored him. He stamped his feet. They ignored him. He cried. But... Unpublished, unloved, untalented, this was his last chance. But no one was reading. No one cared. He was, truly, alone.

But! He continued to write. On and on and on and on and on.

Just, maybe...

Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Nam feugiat ornare imperdiet. Morbi fringilla velit eu libero consectetur tristique. Morbi auctor vehicula ultricies. Morbi scelerisque nibh in metus adipiscing eu ultrices nisi iaculis. Vestibulum felis tellus, euismod convallis auctor at, iaculis ac turpis. Suspendisse potenti. In a erat mauris. Cras semper lacus non magna sagittis fringilla. Etiam at risus lorem, sed tristique ligula. Sed fermentum, nunc ac ornare rutrum, lorem odio aliquam arcu, et dapibus arcu ligula quis magna. In ac tellus in enim tempus dictum. Praesent ut euismod lectus.

Pellentesque eget justo risus. Fusce at erat urna. Donec interdum sollicitudin fringilla. Maecenas neque urna, varius sit amet iaculis vitae, eleifend fermentum sapien. Nam malesuada aliquam fermentum. Nulla vel sem et lorem volutpat luctus. Fusce sit amet est quis orci congue pretium vel id diam. Duis id dui sed enim placerat vulputate id eget lectus. Aliquam euismod aliquet tellus, ac pretium mi pharetra a. Sed turpis enim, luctus at tempus et, luctus ac velit. In hac habitasse platea dictumst. Sed pulvinar ante tempor nisl pellentesque ac ultricies leo molestie. Nulla id est placerat urna ultrices pellentesque placerat a lacus. Vivamus quis turpis felis, vel lacinia sapien.

Aliquam turpis ipsum, tincidunt sed luctus eu, scelerisque non orci. Cras semper purus nec elit porttitor et pretium lacus ultrices. Aenean molestie egestas ipsum porttitor venenatis. Pellentesque consectetur libero nec orci egestas eget laoreet turpis fringilla. Sed vulputate vehicula tellus, eget ullamcorper velit feugiat quis. Class aptent taciti sociosqu ad litora torquent per conubia nostra, per inceptos himenaeos. Cras ut felis nisl, in porttitor dui. Ut ipsum risus, porttitor at sagittis non, molestie quis leo. Maecenas dictum, lorem eget condimentum vulputate, ligula neque rhoncus leo, at bibendum diam elit eget neque. Sed volutpat leo at dui feugiat vel eleifend magna mollis. Nunc posuere mi sit amet dui varius at viverra odio aliquet. In hac habitasse platea dictumst. Praesent dapibus metus vitae tellus pulvinar auctor. Vestibulum ligula lorem, volutpat nec mollis in, interdum vitae purus. Morbi mauris tortor, condimentum eget mollis ut, placerat in nulla. Aliquam varius viverra nunc, pharetra placerat lacus feugiat sed. Duis nibh erat, consectetur ut sagittis sit amet, vestibulum in sem.

Nullam vel augue diam. Nulla id placerat augue. Etiam pharetra suscipit laoreet. Pellentesque habitant morbi tristique senectus et netus et malesuada fames ac turpis egestas. Phasellus iaculis malesuada volutpat. Duis at nisi nulla. Praesent fringilla ornare augue nec volutpat. Curabitur interdum dignissim lacus, ut laoreet dolor sodales sit amet. In tristique viverra ullamcorper. Ut eu velit sed est faucibus rhoncus quis nec dolor. Nam vitae condimentum diam. Sed mauris arcu, bibendum et posuere vel, lobortis eu tortor.

Sed consectetur luctus magna laoreet fermentum. Vestibulum blandit mollis tortor, ac commodo neque aliquet a. Duis blandit, mauris faucibus dapibus facilisis, turpis urna elementum metus, eget malesuada quam est vel lacus. Integer suscipit elit quis lorem laoreet tincidunt. Pellentesque volutpat lacus aliquet quam ultricies a hendrerit sem tempor. Donec ut fringilla nisi. In euismod, neque at auctor blandit, ligula augue gravida tellus, eget cursus mi eros vitae mauris. Aenean eu tellus urna, ac rutrum diam. Nunc sed sollicitudin ipsum. Sed non risus augue. Sed interdum odio vel urna vestibulum vel imperdiet metus placerat. Pellentesque habitant morbi tristique senectus et netus et malesuada fames ac turpis egestas. Fusce a nunc neque. Suspendisse ultricies velit ut justo fermentum malesuada. Aenean egestas ultricies ligula non fringilla. Ut eget quam enim, ut fermentum urna.

Sed ante risus, convallis vel dapibus ultrices, ornare ac nunc. Vestibulum dapibus accumsan nulla in pharetra. Nulla facilisi. Proin a metus vel neque ornare mattis at vitae ligula. Maecenas turpis orci, pulvinar sed pharetra sed, ornare quis dui. Nulla eget felis quis diam imperdiet facilisis eu sed tellus. Vivamus felis purus, suscipit id accumsan et, commodo ut tellus. Cras eu enim id nisi vehicula vehicula a id mauris. Aenean sodales turpis in ipsum tincidunt at ullamcorper velit pellentesque. Sed tempor tortor sed dolor lobortis vel aliquet enim sagittis. Pellentesque purus diam, sodales in vulputate commodo, malesuada a velit.

Nullam consequat ullamcorper tellus, eget ullamcorper magna scelerisque id. Vestibulum sed sem a arcu ultrices fringilla at id leo. Cras eget tellus vel libero rutrum aliquam tincidunt eget nunc. Class aptent taciti sociosqu ad litora torquent per conubia nostra, per inceptos himenaeos. Sed mollis laoreet luctus. Sed nec diam risus, sit amet faucibus mauris. Phasellus placerat dolor sed elit venenatis malesuada. Nulla eget enim ligula, nec tempus velit. Pellentesque faucibus enim eu sapien sodales et tempor nisl bibendum. Pellentesque euismod mollis scelerisque. Pellentesque euismod nunc eu lacus cursus adipiscing. Donec non arcu augue, eget facilisis sem. Quisque a enim accumsan quam congue ullamcorper ut tempus est. Phasellus pharetra magna et mauris dictum vitae eleifend est tristique. Curabitur venenatis sem non ante bibendum hendrerit. Fusce tristique dignissim tortor, vitae fermentum leo congue ut.

Integer vitae metus non nunc rhoncus pulvinar. Nullam blandit congue nulla non blandit. Ut varius nibh in neque sagittis venenatis. Nulla et arcu in sapien laoreet elementum id et neque. In dapibus, risus eget pellentesque sodales, eros lacus iaculis mi, sit amet pulvinar tortor massa feugiat nunc. Phasellus adipiscing augue non turpis tempus blandit. Curabitur velit nunc, imperdiet nec gravida id, venenatis eu urna. In laoreet tempus est eu malesuada. Sed id dui nec neque tempor condimentum. Curabitur odio diam, convallis a fringilla at, rhoncus non diam. Etiam consectetur sodales ante eu tristique. Praesent vitae tortor magna. Nunc in justo id purus varius viverra et in purus. Duis gravida volutpat faucibus. Nullam ac felis et sem dictum dapibus. Pellentesque velit turpis, sodales eu pellentesque vitae, elementum id sem.

Suspendisse quis tempus nisl. Integer diam diam, dapibus ut malesuada sit amet, mollis nec nisi. Nullam sollicitudin ipsum eu purus convallis dictum. Nullam volutpat neque mattis lacus interdum rutrum. Cras a nulla vitae turpis lacinia mattis. Mauris pretium cursus dignissim. Aenean tortor justo, sagittis at malesuada adipiscing, consequat eu lorem. Sed dapibus tincidunt placerat. Cras in mauris a nunc tristique molestie. Sed porttitor, enim sed luctus venenatis, augue elit volutpat elit, sed fringilla tortor orci ut nibh. Cras vel elit est, at molestie justo. In ac odio est, in lobortis lorem. Quisque tristique lacinia neque, sit amet molestie augue fringilla at. Nulla facilisi. Quisque eu ipsum ut nunc eleifend interdum. Phasellus nec est quam.

Quisque nec velit felis. Vivamus in quam justo, malesuada ornare leo. Fusce elit metus, placerat ac mollis sed, blandit in odio. Sed sit amet neque libero, vitae tempus dolor. Ut dui sem, accumsan vitae eleifend sit amet, faucibus a sem. Pellentesque tellus quam, aliquet ac mattis et, hendrerit non orci. Proin scelerisque posuere mauris et scelerisque. Nunc felis erat, rutrum eget eleifend sed, dignissim vel mauris. Aliquam erat volutpat. Suspendisse ornare congue vulputate. Nullam nec sodales lectus. Integer urna risus, congue et dictum quis, pharetra ac orci. Aliquam vel nisl ipsum. Integer suscipit blandit dui in aliquam. Fusce ornare mi ut lectus vulputate pharetra. Nullam ut enim vel mauris adipiscing tempor in non ipsum. Nulla ut augue metus, non ullamcorper libero. Maecenas quis sem id quam consectetur molestie a sit amet neque. Cras augue quam, auctor vel rutrum in, adipiscing vel ligula. Fast forward to the end. No more...

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My eyes are up here

Story Of Seaman Ha ~ Part Three

The visiting artist was none other than the child prodigy Woo Toh. He was best known for his unique and distinct interpretations of landscape and inanimate objects. He felt sorry for Seaman Ha for he knew how difficult it could be trying to be an artist. So he agreed to meet with Seaman Ha

When he saw Seaman Ha, he led him away from the exhibition to his temporary workshop behind the town hall. “So Mr Ha, what can I do for you?”

“You see, I’m an artist like yourself. I also paint landscape not that different from yours. Somehow people here don’t seem to appreciate any of my paintings. So I have brought along a couple of my best paintings for you to look at. Maybe you can give me some pointers.” Seaman Ha unwrapped a couple of his paintings and placed them on the floor.

Woo Toh saw the two paintings and he knew Seaman Ha was no artist really. But he did not want to upset him because of the crowd gathered outside the exhibition. So very diplomatically he told Seaman Ha, “You use very good paint. But you need to spend more time experimenting with mixing different colours to create different shades and textures. Your strokes are firm and steady. You need to relax a bit and let the soft gentle side of yours to come through. You see, you need to capture not just the outline of the landscape but the spirit of it. To do so you must look deep within yourself and ask yourself what feelings you have for the landscape. Do you like landscape Seaman Ha?”

“No, not particularly. I actually find landscape rather boring. Why paint it when you can see it every day. I paint it because it seems like what people want.”

“Then why do you paint landscape? You should also try to paint what moves you most. You should follow your passions and paint from your heart. Is there anything you particularly like or care about?”

“No, not really. I guess you can say I like money. No, I doubt anyone would pay for a painting of money. Let me see…. I guess you can say I like sex. I like all kinds of sex probably because I hardly get any. So you think I should focus on sex?”

“Seaman Ha, I don’t think Lamma and your fellow Lammayans are ready for it. But is there someone you fancy? Maybe a girlfriend? How about portraits of her?”

“You mean my maid Arang? I only pretend to fancy her because she does a good job cleaning the house, gardening, and picking up dog poo after my dog. She’s as hideous as a toad. No one would want to see her. All my neighbours hate her because she’s got such a foul mouth.”

“Anyway, I must get back to the exhibition. You will need some time to work out what your passions are. I’m sure it will come to you eventually. You see, your passions need not be what others want. Your passions can be about things you like or hate. I will be here till the next full moon. Why don’t you try painting different things and listen to what your heart tells you and I will come see you before I leave?”

Seaman Ha was very grateful for Woo Toh’s advice and offer. He gave Woo Toh his address and then went home happily thinking soon people would recognize him as an artist.

Story Of Seaman Ha ~ Part Four

A fortnight passed and it was time for Woo Toh to leave Lamma. The exhibition had been a great success and he made so many friends on Lamma. The beautiful landscape of Lamma had also given him lots of inspiration. But there was still one thing he must do before his departure.

Woo Toh went to the address given to him by Seaman Ha and saw an overgrown garden and a house which looked as though it was about to collapse.

“Mr Ha, are you in?”

“Oh! My artist friend Woo Toh. Please come in. You have chosen the perfect time to visit me. I just finished another masterpiece.”

“Mr Ha, I….”

“Why do you keep calling me Mr Ha? I’m Seaman Ha but I’m actually Mr Ho. You see, Seaman Ho was my father. He was quite an athlete. When I was born, my father had just won the long distance swim from the main island.”

“So you are Ho Ha?”

“Yes and no. You see, when the villagers told my father about me, he quickly ran home to see me. Of course I have no memory of this. But my mother told me when she asked my father what name I should be given, my father simply said, ‘Ha Ha Ha,’ and dropped down dead. So my name is actually Ho Ha Ha Ha.”

“Fascinating!”

“Anyway, you must come see my paintings. I have two I wish to show you.” Seaman Ha led Woo Toh to his work room and unveiled a painting.

Woo Toh had no idea what he was looking at. It looked like a gooey paste of excrement of some sort. “What may I ask this is?”

“You told me to find my passions and passions could be things I hate. It took me some time. Then one day it came to me that I really hate flies. So what you see is how I have squashed all those really annoying flies. You can see how I have followed your advice to play with different colours and create texture.”

Woo Toh was about to throw up when Seaman Ha quickly unveiled another painting.

“Now this is the masterpiece I think you will like and be proud of me. What do you think?”

It had the outline of a hand and what looked like a torso. The colour was unusual with an intricate mix of black, lavender, and purple. The texture was particularly rich and thick. There was a lot of motion yet the image was eerily still.

“I don’t know about the first one but this one is quite intriguing. What is it?”

“Ah my artist friend! This is Arang my maid. She was cleaning up the other day and she spilt my precious paint and made such a mess. I got really mad and I taught her a lesson. I used her blood to mix with the paint to create this very special shade. I even put in some of her hair to create this swirl here. Don’t you love it?”

It then became clear to Woo Toh what he was looking at.

“My dear friend Woo Toh, you look upset. Are you all right? You look a bit pale. Now, that’s a very interesting shade of colour you have. I would really like to paint you. I think you would look good with a bit of colour.”

“Seaman Ha! What did you do to your maid Arang? Where is she?”

“Don’t worry about Arang. She’s not going to bother us. She’s in the garden.”

The hills are alive with the sound of pounding
With drills they have used for countless years
The hills fill my heart with the sound of pounding
My heart wants to pound every drill it hears

My heart wants to crush all the dings of the drills
that flood from the beach to the piers
My heart wants to cry it’s a crime that drives
us mad with bleeding ears

Do we have an elected person to look after our welfare? With all the constant digging and redigging for the past so many months, you would think the various departments involved would hve gotten better with their planning and coordination by now.

Where the hell is the elected person who should be looking after the welfare of our Shire?

loved the bit about the small penis

Funny how they seem to come at night....

Public Announcement
From Ministry Of Lammayan Magical Affairs

With all the latest drama on banned substances in our Shire, we would like to remind all Lammayans and Friends that all banned substances are banned for good reasons.

A/ Currently there is no proper legislation to monitor the quality and safety of such banned substances.

B/ The Ministry Of Ethical Trading has yet to set up clear guidelines to ensure banned substances do not involve child and/or slave labour and the production of banned substances supports equal opportunity.

C/ Importers of banned substances have not been submitting their customs form detailing vital information like manufacturer, country of origin, purchased value, etc..

D/ Local vendors and distributors have not filed their tax return declaring their income, thereby depriving our economy of valuable tax income every year.

So say NO to banned substances!

In the meantime, we would also like to remind all Lammayans and Friends that banned substances do not include controlled substances. People afflicted with dark magic related ailments who require the use of controlled substances need not worry as long as they get their controlled substances from ministry registered white magic practicians.

So as we move forward, we ought not to forget all the hard work we have all put into our Shire. But to move forward we must also be willing to accept changes and let go of the old ways. Let us preserve what ought to be preserved, prune what ought to be pruned, and plant what ought to be planted for there is still so much more room to perfect what can be perfected in our Shire.

Serpentina Malfoy
Chief Administrator
Ministry Of Lammayan Magical Affairs

So the Dark Side Of Lamma has been banished to the Fight Club. I guess no one wants to know about the Dark Side or admit there is a Dark Side to Lamma.

Just like there are wizards and witches living alongside with Muggles, there are demons living in our Shire. What's wrong with stories about demons?

What a shame! There are so many personal attacks taking place here. While some can be harmless fun, others are just down right malicious. When victims talk about what they have endured, they are attacked and victimized. Yet, some of these malicious posts stay on.

I wonder if they are allowed to stay on as a warning to silence people, to stop people from coming forth to suggest there is anything wrong with our Shire.

What a sham!

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Click here for Lamma-zine stories and recent Lamma Spotlights of the Week:
Photo, Video, Person, Wildlife, Bird, Artwork.

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Click here for Lamma-zine stories and recent Lamma Spotlights of the Week:
Photo, Video, Person, Wildlife, Bird, Artwork.

Dark side of Lamma? When the sun is in the west, the eastern side of Lamma becomes the dark side.

The dark side in humans are to do with the subconscious mind. Just turn on the "lights" and it will go away. Believe in the change you can bring in you.