The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English
> will
> be the official language of the EU rather than German, which was the
other
> possibility. In light of our international membership, I would like to
> bring
> the following to your attention. Implementation of these new rules is
bound
> to affect our own communications.
>
> As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government has accepted that
> English spelling had some room for improvement, and has agreed to
Germany's
> selfless proposals for a 5 year phase-in plan for "Euro-English".
>
> In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will
> please our sivil servants. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of
> the"k".
> This should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan have one less letter.
>
> There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the
> troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
> "fotograf" 20% shorter.
>
> In year 3, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be ekspekted to
> reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible, eg. our
> governments will enkorage the removal of double letters, which have
always
> ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible
mes
> of
> the silent "e"s in the language is disgrasful.
>
> By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "
th"
> with "z", and "w" with "v". During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be
> dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and similar changes vud of kors be
aplid
> to ozer kombinations of leters.
>
> After zis fifz yer, ve vil al hav a reli sensibl riten styl.
> Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi to
> understand ech ozer.
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