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My Lamma e-zine #7  (Fri, Oct 11, 2002)

LammaNetPolice Fights
Pirates, Perverts & Scofflaws!


My Lamma e-zine #7  (Fri, Oct 11, 2002)

(free subscriptions of this e-mail newsletter (plain text): register at
(formatted, printable version with pictures at


  1. Miss!
  2. Mister
  3. LammaNetPolice Fights Pirates, Perverts & Scofflaws!
  4. Silicon Valley Lamma
  5. e, Mr 3 & Tim-Tam the Hamster
  7. MAX! 2002 Film Festival
  8. Birthday Presents for all Members!

          Greetings, law-abiding citizens!

          We've had some great news this week, reaching our first 100 registered members and 1,000 messages, on the same day!
        We've decided to celebrate by crowning Miss and Mister!
        Thanks to your visits, our website traffic peaked at almost 15,000 hits/day, with over 160 visitors/ day, up to 12 of them online simultaneously. Quite impressive for such a small, new, local website!

        Discussions online really heated up this week, turning into wild flaming occasionally,
like the naughty, but highly entertaining mudfight between "k@", "Fortune Chan" and "Joanne".
        But the voice of law & order made itself heard as our new member "LammaNetPolice", interjecting the often hilarious, but correct "official viewpoint" of HK police and government into our lively chats.
        The LammaNetPolice impersonator is fitting in quite well with our motley bunch of online geeks, weirdos, self-promoters and scofflaws, plus the vast majority of our very nice & friendly members.

        Read nicely formatted, printable versions of our e-zines, with pictures:


        Feedback on last week's e-zine "Hippies & Yuppies vs. Mosquitoes & Chinchillas":
        Craig: "You are all that AND a case of potato crips"
        Webdog: "I had a brief glance of the e-zine and it was truly hilarious. Really impressed with your great work. ok ok, I know that you want to hear something constructive...."
        Fortune Chan: "Thank you for this site. I enjoy it very much. It must be much work but it is good that the member is now many. Well done"

        Graffiti scribbled onto the "Lamma beach party" e-zine issue, posted to a wall in YSW:
"Yes, it's true! I saw women & men made love on the beach. Please kept clean! Those made our Lamma dirty, stay off, please. They are animals."

        Send "E-MAILS TO THE EDITOR" to

        Cheers from "Mister"-wannabe Lamma-Gung

  1. "Miss"

    The 1,000th message ever posted on came from our very popular BBChris:
    "Nothing erotic about LOVE?"
    in her topic "GUYS! Are you doing your part for World Peace?"
    Posting message #1,000 promotes her to our new, reigning Miss!

    Her acceptance speech:
    "Oh, I'm overcome with emotion. This is what I've ALWAYS wanted. I want to thank my mother and father. I want to thank my Grandma and my whole family for all the support they've given me in pursuing my dreams. I'd like to thank the Academy for its belief in me. I graciously accept my responsibilities.
    *tears of joy streaming down my face*"

    her seductive, gently smooching picture Avatar,
    LISTEN to her sultry voice singing about "the love of your life...",
    WATCH her music video, directed by a Lamma-based film director,
    DISCUSS hot topics like her lacy underwear, favorite positions, wife-swapping, sexy jokes, orgasm birds, etc.
    TEASE her with insinuating messages and make her Hahahahahaha...

  2. "Mister"

    To be fair, non-sexist and an equal opportunity employer, we have also chosen a
    "Mr.":  our newly registered member #100: Celtic Viking!
    His registered occupation is "intergalactic bounty hunter", his interests are "saving the planet" and he describes himself as a "middle-aged Welsh hippy".

    The first message of this truly nice guy was to offer his volunteer services to a lesbian couple:

  3. LammaNetPolice Fighting Pirates, Perverts & Scofflaws

    "LammaNetPolice" has been monitoring our often unruly discussions, stepping in when deemed necessary, policing our law-abiding and upstanding Netizens.

    A public online hearing averted an impending vote buying & bribery scandal:

    webdog: "
    Do we need rule of conduct and disclaimers for our untamed members' outrageous messages?" Check out the latest missives of our semi-official "I AM THE LAW!" policeman:

  4. Silicon Valley Lamma

    Mr. Tough: "The Tai Peng Silicon Valley is one of Lammas economic powerhouses and probably the single most important high-tech centre in HK."

    "The Valley's famed spirit of entrepreneurship and unparalleled IT infrastructure make this region a Mecca for business success. But, in all seriousness, there do seem to be a lot of Web services oriented people up here, including skills like Web content language editing services.":

  5. e, Mr 3 & Tim-Tam the Hamster

    The Lamma Animal Protection is doing much more than finding homes for cats & dogs only!
    Our member "e" from the Lamma Animal Protection is trying to find a home for Tim-Tam, the abandoned hamster
    (see photos left & right).

    "e": "She will come complete with her condominium. Spare food and wood shavings also provided. An easy but fascinating little companion."

    "e" already has a cute pet, "Mr 3" (photo right), and considers herself to be a
    "Human Slave to the Beloved Mr 3"
    . A true animal lover with the right attitude!


    Snakes have been sighted more frequently these days around Lamma, rarely biting anybody, but startling quite a few people.

    k@: "Mr Jow believed his wife to be immune to poisonous snake bites, and therefore decided she would make a good first line of defence in case the snake decided he looked tastier than the cat."
    Fearless BBChris: "Snakes? Seen and experienced most of them, the scariest being the banded krait that lives in our garden."

    The local perspective, from Fortune Chan:
    "Snake is good in a broth. And fried skin is also good":

  7. MAX! 2002 Film Festival

    (Warning: This topic is basically a shameless plug for my own business,
    Compunicate! e-Marketing & Website Development, based in YSW!)

    Did you ever wonder what Lamma-Gung does for a living?
    I know you don't care, but I'll tell you anyway! He designs & builds websites, like the one below.
    Please let him know, if you need any help withyour home page or company website!

    If you like European movies, check out this German-language film festival, starting Oct 12:

  8. Birthday Presents for all Members!

    Celebrating our milestone of 100 members, we've started to give presents to ALL our members who let us know their birthday!

    Samples of presents so far: custom-made birthday e-cards, changing our website logo for you (see left), Avatars (see below right), wallpaper, etc.

    We might even get the new ferry pier sign board flashing a birthday message for you... maybe...

    Let me know YOUR birthday (no year necessary) and become pleasantly surprised:

    Next week:

    Winners of the Coolest Online Identity competition!
    "Have you been living on Lamma long time?"

    Weblog: "Watching Lamma Passing By..."
    Best (and worst) restaurants: your reviews!